How to write a thank-you note -- sample included -- in 5 easy steps!
Filed under: Etiquette, After the 'I Do's'
Thank-you notes. We all know we should. We mostly all will. We universally deplore the task. I suspect that most people who hate doing them hate it not because they don't want to say thanks, nor even because they don't like writing, but because they feel they just don't know how.Your guests were all so nice, and you want them to know how much you appreciate it all -- and you think you'll just sound like a dork. But really? Thank-you notes are easy, once you understand the formula.
So, roll up your sleeves, all you nervous writers, pick up that pen, and jot down these handy pointers:
1. Gather your supplies. You will need pretty paper, envelopes, address book, stamps, and pen. Which leads us to point two:
2. The thank-you's are really supposed to be hand-written. It is better if they're on actual note paper, rather than a thank-you card, but as long as your hand-writing is on them, blank cards will do.
2b. Etiquette mavens will pull their hair out should they see this, but ... email thank-yous are becoming more popular. Face it, many of us LIVE on our computers. My feeling on this is that email thank-you's are fine for those of the email generation. For your parents' generation? Paper is a must. If you're not sure, err on the side of tradition. You will never offend with a paper-and-pen thank-you.
3. Look at the gift, or picture it in your mind. Think of one positive thing you can say about it. Even if you HATE it, there can be one positive thing. It can be "unique", or "so expressive of you, Aunt Myrtle, I know I'll think of your lovely smile every time I see it." See?
4. Use your own voice. Don't be afraid to write just as you speak. Read a few out loud. If it sounds like you had a very bad speech-writer, scrap it. Unless, of course, that's how you really talk ...
Okay. You've got your supplies, you have your pointers. You're ready to start. The thing to remember is, though they will be personal, there is a formula. (Just like your wedding! Grounded in tradition, with lots of personal touches!) And remember -- it doesn't matter if after 20 of these, it feels like you're saying the same things over and over again. Your guests will only see theirs, and they will focus on the nice things you said about them and their gift.
Here's a formula that works well, in five simple steps:
1. Salutation
2. Introductory sentence
3. Focus on gift
4. Another complimentary sentence or two -- about gift or gift-giver
5. Conclusion
1. Dear [name];
2. Introductory sentences: It was great to see you at our wedding. Wasn't it a lovely day? And now we are home, we've had a chance to see the gorgeous [identify gift] you gave us.
3. Focus on gift: We are so looking forward to [using it; finding the perfect place for it; showing it to all our friends].
4 Insert another complimentary phrase about it and/or the giver. Here are some possibilities: It will be a marvelous addition to our home. It will remind us of our Perfect Day. You have such a good eye for these things! It will be so useful/decorative/fun. Where did you ever find it? We will think of you every time we use it. We love the color/texture/scent/size/creativity.
(If you're thanking someone for a cheque, tell the giver what you intend to purchase with it, or put the money towards.)
5. Conclusion: We really appreciate your thoughtfulness. Thank you.
Love,
There! Wasn't that easy??
2. The thank-you's are really supposed to be hand-written. It is better if they're on actual note paper, rather than a thank-you card, but as long as your hand-writing is on them, blank cards will do.
2b. Etiquette mavens will pull their hair out should they see this, but ... email thank-yous are becoming more popular. Face it, many of us LIVE on our computers. My feeling on this is that email thank-you's are fine for those of the email generation. For your parents' generation? Paper is a must. If you're not sure, err on the side of tradition. You will never offend with a paper-and-pen thank-you.
3. Look at the gift, or picture it in your mind. Think of one positive thing you can say about it. Even if you HATE it, there can be one positive thing. It can be "unique", or "so expressive of you, Aunt Myrtle, I know I'll think of your lovely smile every time I see it." See?
4. Use your own voice. Don't be afraid to write just as you speak. Read a few out loud. If it sounds like you had a very bad speech-writer, scrap it. Unless, of course, that's how you really talk ...
Okay. You've got your supplies, you have your pointers. You're ready to start. The thing to remember is, though they will be personal, there is a formula. (Just like your wedding! Grounded in tradition, with lots of personal touches!) And remember -- it doesn't matter if after 20 of these, it feels like you're saying the same things over and over again. Your guests will only see theirs, and they will focus on the nice things you said about them and their gift.
Here's a formula that works well, in five simple steps:
1. Salutation
2. Introductory sentence
3. Focus on gift
4. Another complimentary sentence or two -- about gift or gift-giver
5. Conclusion
1. Dear [name];
2. Introductory sentences: It was great to see you at our wedding. Wasn't it a lovely day? And now we are home, we've had a chance to see the gorgeous [identify gift] you gave us.
3. Focus on gift: We are so looking forward to [using it; finding the perfect place for it; showing it to all our friends].
4 Insert another complimentary phrase about it and/or the giver. Here are some possibilities: It will be a marvelous addition to our home. It will remind us of our Perfect Day. You have such a good eye for these things! It will be so useful/decorative/fun. Where did you ever find it? We will think of you every time we use it. We love the color/texture/scent/size/creativity.
(If you're thanking someone for a cheque, tell the giver what you intend to purchase with it, or put the money towards.)
5. Conclusion: We really appreciate your thoughtfulness. Thank you.
Love,
There! Wasn't that easy??
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