If you cannot afford to be a bridesmaid please turn it down. And if you can please do not turn into bridesmaidzilla!!! My mom paid for the dress, I had my bridesmaids pick out their own shoes & accessories...their hair was up to them (I did my own hair so there was no pressure there.) Yes they had to travel to my wedding but the bridesmaid in question's father paid for all of her travel expenses. Here was what I had to deal with:

*From the moment I started planning she made little negative comments (ie. "Your only inviting 40 people; I thought you'd want more." "Oh, your dress is ivory & blue...I thought you would want solid ivory." "Oh, you are doing your own hair...")
*I asked her to plan my bachelorette party because my sis, who was my maid of honor, lives thousands of miles away... I pretty much had to ask my other bridesmaid to step in because she put it off so long that it almost didn't happen. (Let's not even get into the issue of what she wanted to do for MY bachelorette party! Think alcohol fest when I was trying to avoid alcohol. I didn't have any bridal showers and there weren't going to be a lot of people invited.)
*Here is the kicker! The bachelorette party was the day after her birthday party which was planned AFTER her and the other bridesmaid decided the date for the bachelorette party. We were going to a day spa (not too expensive $50 entry cost+food&drink. www.glenivy.com) She got so trashed at her party that she cancelled on coming. It ended up being me, my other bridesmaid and another girlfriend. Not only was she not there to shoulder her part of the cost but she was the one that had the gift they were planning on giving me- a cover up to wear @ the spa. Like I said, I had no other pre-wedding celebrations, to this day she does not understand just how much that hurt me.

This has done some serious damage to our friendship. She was a bridesmaid in 3 other weddings before mine and I heard about all of the things she did for those brides but when it came down to me, one of her best friends, she dropped the ball.

So, please, remember that this isn't your wedding. And if the bride starts to make unresonable demand take her aside and let her know that you just can't afford it anymore. Good luck!

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