Seven signs of a dying relationship and how to save it
Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Relationships, After the 'I Do's'
When you're in what seems like the perfect relationship, you never tend to think about infidelity. At least, I don't. But the sad truth is that it happens, regardless of whether you're planning your wedding or have been married for 30 years.
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, statistics show that 15 percent of wives and 25 percent of husbands have had sex outside of their marriage. I would guess that's on the low side. However, Frances Cohen Praver, PhD, the author of Daring Wives: Insight into Women's Desires for Extramarital Affairs, says there are seven signs that your spouse might be cheating ... and ways to curb an affair before it happens.
- Crying out for help. Praver suggests taking the bait and asking your partner to open up about whey they're unhappy.
- Sudden change or interest in appearance. If your woman goes out and gets a head-to-toe make-over, try getting one yourself and see how she reacts.
- Unconstructive criticism. If your partner's constantly on your case about things you can't change, don't erupt like you may want to and encourage him to talk about how he feels.
- Guilt gift. When you receive a lavish gift out of nowhere and that tiny alarm inside buzzes, react then and ask your partner about it. Waiting could cost you your relationship.
- Snubbed at a social outing. If your friends are suddenly acting strange around you or giving you the cold shoulder, chances are they either know about an affair or your partner hasn't been saying pleasant things about you. Nip it in the bud and confront him or her right away.
- Sneaking around. Making cell phone calls on the back porch at midnight isn't normal. Save your relationship by directly asking the person, "What's going on here?" If the person fesses up, it could be a chance to start over.
- History repeats itself. If it's happened before, set boundaries to prevent it from happening again, such as how much each of you can discuss about personal matters with people outside your marriage.
I'll add one more obvious sign: finding a number you don't recognize all over your cell phone bill. Yup. That's a pretty big clue you need to talk.
What's in a name?
Dress of the day: Anastasia by Maggie Sottero
Unusual wedding cakes from Dragons and Daffodils
