Picture this: you've spent months planning every last detail of your wedding. Everything will match. All your bridesmaids have beautiful dresses with complementary accessories and bouquets, the tablecloths match the flowers and your shoes and the print on the invitations ... you get the idea -- you're going to have a wedding album you'd be proud to show off to Martha Stewart.But then ... with mere hours to go before the ceremony, your fiance's rebellious little sister, one of your bridesmaids, shows up at the rehearsal with bright pink hair. Your photos will be ruined. You could kick her out of the bridal party, but then you'd have more groomsmen than bridesmaids -- maybe you have to eliminate a groomsman, too. What do you do? It's simple. You take a deep breath, relax, and get over it.
Okay, in this situation (adapted slightly for dramatic effect from an online discussion with advice columnist Carolyn Hax), the bridesmaid is certainly being a bit inconsiderate. Maybe your bridesmaids wouldn't do this to you, but what if they have huge tattoos, unusual piercings, or other things you don't want in your wedding album. Is it okay for you to ask them to hide these things for the sake of your pictures?
There's a fine line between appropriate and bridezilla here. If you simply cannot bear the thought of your bridesmaid's huge tattoo in your wedding shots, there are ways around this without demanding that she change her appearance for your sake and insulting her in the process.
Maybe you can select a dress style that will hide a tattoo, or simply instruct your photographer to set up the pictures so that it's not visible. If it's something that's not easy to cover or hide, like thick barbells in each ear or lots of facial piercings, you can ask that she remove them or replace them on the wedding day with clear spacers, which you should pay for. Don't put extra cost burdens on your bridesmaid because you are not happy with the way she looks. The same goes for hair color -- if hers is pink and you want it more natural, ask, don't demand, and then you pick up the bill for the changes.
But really, is it right to ask your bridesmaids to change their appearance for you? The real question is why does it matter? She's your friend -- good friend, right? Why else is she a bridesmaid -- and you love her just how she is. If the friend you love just happens to love her own green hair, then you'll have some green hair in your wedding photos. Why should it be otherwise?
You could ask her what color her hair will be on your wedding date so you can select a dress that will complement it. My best friend has beautiful red hair, and I selected dark green fabric for her dress because of how it looked with her hair. Surely you can do this with any color, if it's so important to you that everything match.
However you decide to handle this issue with your bridesmaids, remember to be tactful. It's hurtful to be told, as a friend of mine was, "and don't you DARE wear those [expletive deleted] barbells in your ears on MY wedding day!" This is bad bride behavior, and in my opinion, you deserve to have your wedding album "ruined" if you treat your friends this way. And remember, when all else fails, there's always Photoshop.
Maybe you can select a dress style that will hide a tattoo, or simply instruct your photographer to set up the pictures so that it's not visible. If it's something that's not easy to cover or hide, like thick barbells in each ear or lots of facial piercings, you can ask that she remove them or replace them on the wedding day with clear spacers, which you should pay for. Don't put extra cost burdens on your bridesmaid because you are not happy with the way she looks. The same goes for hair color -- if hers is pink and you want it more natural, ask, don't demand, and then you pick up the bill for the changes.
But really, is it right to ask your bridesmaids to change their appearance for you? The real question is why does it matter? She's your friend -- good friend, right? Why else is she a bridesmaid -- and you love her just how she is. If the friend you love just happens to love her own green hair, then you'll have some green hair in your wedding photos. Why should it be otherwise?
You could ask her what color her hair will be on your wedding date so you can select a dress that will complement it. My best friend has beautiful red hair, and I selected dark green fabric for her dress because of how it looked with her hair. Surely you can do this with any color, if it's so important to you that everything match.
However you decide to handle this issue with your bridesmaids, remember to be tactful. It's hurtful to be told, as a friend of mine was, "and don't you DARE wear those [expletive deleted] barbells in your ears on MY wedding day!" This is bad bride behavior, and in my opinion, you deserve to have your wedding album "ruined" if you treat your friends this way. And remember, when all else fails, there's always Photoshop.
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