Just for grooms...keep your sex life rocking

by Wendy Davidson, Posted Nov 22nd 2007 1:00PM

Filed Under: Relationships, After the 'I Do's', Grooms

Unfortunately, it's pretty much taken as normal for your sex life to dwindle after you're married. You know exactly what your partner will do, when they're going to do it, how it's going to be done, and what is expected of you in return. So it's out with spontaneity and, sometimes, out with sex altogether.

How do you keep things rocking long after the "I Do's" are a distant memory?

In my recent post for brides, 5 Sex vows before you say "I Do", I wrote about things a woman can do to ensure a great sex life. That was aimed at woman, I know. So what, exactly, can a man do to contribute to a white-hot sex life?
1. Show her you love her

Carry out small gestures, like making her a cup of coffee, buying her a small treat or running her a bath when she's had a lousy day. Trivial things, yes, but they mean a lot. When a woman feels appreciated and cherished, she's far more likely to want to make love . And the opposite holds true. When she feels taken for granted and 'part of the furniture', her desire for sex disappears.

2. Touch her often

No, I'm not talking about a rude or suggestive grope while she's cooking dinner. That can be downright off-putting, especially if you only ever touch her when you want a bit of nooky.

What I'm talking about is holding hands, hugs and kisses (especially when no sex is on the immediate agenda), snuggling on the sofa and watching TV together. Touch communicates love. It's hugely important.

3. Look after your hygiene and appearance

Nobody likes the stench of old sweat, much less the pong of a grubby groin. Shower regularly, guys. It's that simple. Dirty fingernails are revolting too. (Do you really think she wants those manky paws all over her body?)

4. Talk to her

I cannot stress this enough. I know that men aren't always great at communication, but for goodness sake chaps, make an effort. If your sex life is important to you, then open your mouth and start communicating. You've got feelings and needs, so has she. Share them. And listen to her. Really listen.

5. Take your time in bed

Women are slow burners. We take longer than a man to get aroused and get a lot of pleasure just out of tenderness, kissing and cuddling. What I'm saying is, the 'wham bam thank you ma'am" routine is not going to make the grade. Not every time.

If arousal builds gradually, it floods the whole body and a delayed orgasm is way more satisfying than an orgasm brought on by a few minutes of manual manipulation. So, take your time. It'll be worth it.

For more in-depth reading, check out Askmen.com. and Sex secrets of married men.

And finally, I couldn't resist linking to this tongue-in-cheek video, How to turn your wife into a sex goddess.

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Tags: advice, featured, married-sex, relationships, sex-tips