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Diamonds are by far the most popular gemstone for engagement rings, or any type of jewelry, for that matter, but there is no law that says you have to have a diamond ring. Not every girl likes or wants a diamond engagement ring, and the alternatives are endless.

Ilona wanted an opal. I love opals, too, and I really love opal jewelry, but I'd warn against it for an engagement ring. Opals are very soft, and can crack or shatter easily. They are not really suitable for everyday wear. That doesn't mean you can't have opal jewelry -- an engagement ring doesn't have to be the only jewelry your husband ever gives you (hint, hint).

When they say "Diamonds are forever," it's not just because they're a symbol of everlasting love -- it's because they are the hardest substance found in nature.

A mineral's hardness is graded on the Mohs Scale, and a diamond is a 10 (out of 10) on this scale. There are some common misconceptions about gemstone hardness, which I will try to explain.

Hardness represents how easily a stone can be scratched. Just because it is a 10, that does not mean it cannot break. Furthermore, a stone with a hardness of 9 is not just a step below a 10. A diamond (10) is comparatively much harder than corundum (9), than corundum is to topaz (8). See the graph below for an illustration of this.

When choosing a stone for an engagement ring that will be worn everyday, I would not go lower than an 8 on the Mohs Scale. Sapphires and Rubies are both types of corundum, meaning they have a hardness of 9, and are pretty durable stones. You can go lower on the scale if you have your heart set on a certain type of stone, just be aware of its relative hardness and take precautions in your care for the stone. You also need to accept the fact that sometimes we are rough on our hands, and you may scratch or crack your stone at some point. This is true even with a diamond ring, but the harder your stone, the less you have to worry about its durability.

Here is a list of more popular gemstones and their relative hardness:

• Beryl (Emerald, Aquamarine): 7.5
  
• Topaz: 8
  
• Quartz (Amethyst, Citrine, Rose Quartz): 7
• Garnet: 6.5-7.5
• Alexandrite: 8.5
  
• Opal: 5.5-6.5
  
• Tanzanite: 6.5-7
  
• Tourmaline: 7-7.5
  
• Moissanite (Created Diamond): 9.25
  
• Pearl: 2.5-4.5

If the stone you want for your engagement ring is too soft for everyday wear, maybe you just don't wear your engagement ring all the time. Or maybe you get something else for your engagement ring, but wear your gorgeous pearls as part of your wedding day ensemble. It's up to you -- go with your own style.

Look for future Personal Gemologist installments for more on non-diamond engagement rings. If you have a specific stone you'd like me to talk about next, please comment and let me know.