Doing a tough job right: How to postpone or cancel the wedding
Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Relationships, Engagement, Etiquette
Sometimes things just don't go according to plan. Someone gets ill, an amazing job offer necessitates an immediate move, a very close family member dies, someone gets cold feet ... There are many reasons you might find yourself having to postpone, or even call off, the wedding.While we truly hope it doesn't happen to you, you may as well do it in the best way possible. If you're canceling, take comfort in this: hard as it may be now, it would be worse if you called it off after the wedding!
If the wedding invitations haven't gone out yet, the job is relatively easy: you just need to talk to the people who knew about it. If, however, the invitations have gone out, the best way to inform all the would-be guests is with another written announcement.
This announcement would take the same basic form of the invitation:
If the wedding is being called off altogether, that last line should read:
You'll note that no explanation is given. This is, in fact, good etiquette. Unless they are very close, people who ask "what happened??" are being rudely nosy. People will be curious, of course, but you don't have to tell them anything other than the new date or the cancellation. The only people who need to know the reasons are close family members -- and even they don't need every tiny detail, if you don't wish to share them.
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Smith
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Suzie Q
to
Mr. Johnny B. Goode
will be postponed until [date].
Suzie Q
to
Mr. Johnny B. Goode
will be postponed until [date].
If the wedding is being called off altogether, that last line should read:
will not take place.
If you're so close to the wedding day that a written announcement wouldn't arrive in time, you must phone everyone. This unhappy job can be split up between the wedding party, but you must do your utmost to reach every invited guest.
You'll note that no explanation is given. This is, in fact, good etiquette. Unless they are very close, people who ask "what happened??" are being rudely nosy. People will be curious, of course, but you don't have to tell them anything other than the new date or the cancellation. The only people who need to know the reasons are close family members -- and even they don't need every tiny detail, if you don't wish to share them.
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