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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Feb 23rd 2008 @ 8:28AM
veruka said...
it's not musical chairs. I have seen this occur with my gfs over the years,
and it is heart wrenching. While the married women in your playgroup
wouldn't want to trade places with you, it isn't because they have a
sort of wonderful partnership, it is because they fear being alone.
Yes, it is a great big bad fear, and has existed since the judeo-christian
tradition has made women feel that they are less than a person if
they are without a man.
If I have learned anything by being a single mother, it is that I
am as powerful and beautiful and strong as any man out there.
These women who are married to people they "settle" for, do not get
that. They do what their husbands say, too, you know. They obey. The
ones who compromise are 90% of the time the females, so you are looking
at a feminist issue. The guy that gives a new mom 20 minutes a day is not
better than nothing. Just think of the resentment that would build up
in your heart! You do 23 hours and 40 minutes and you gotta be all
grateful for the 20 his royal highness doles out at his leisure.
So get out of here with your settling philosophies. Have a good cry if
you feel lonely and then go shave your beard, do yoga for 3 weeks,
dye the grey out of your hair and get laid, it's easier
than you think at 45. I'm 45 and and single mom and going through a sort
of blooming flower stage!
The article doesn't cover the fact that 75% of american marriages now end
in divorce. 75%! So are you saying that when you do this settling thing,
this new cool way to find a life mate, that you are going to not be one
of those 75%? I'd say you settlers will be more like 100% probability of
divorce. I mean unless you find a guy who is truly willing to forgo
all romantic love, as you are, and "settle" just to have a sort of "small
time business partner" for life! What hogwash.
A single middle-aged woman likely doesn't have perspectives? HOGWASH again,
oh, dear! You need to get laid girl! You are repeting the shit men want
us to believe!
that thing about the guy not being a reader, or the guy being alergic to dogs,
or those little things that break up the relationship, it's always something
deeper. You are being too clinical here. The woman didn't decide to dump
the guy because he hated dogs. It was why he hated dogs, it was something
deeper about him. Why do you want her to ignore her intuition? Us girls
do have that you know, and it's always dead on right.
And to conclude, I reiterate, you do not have to be alone forever. You have friends, that
was sort of one of the messages of "sex in the city" that you criticize.You
have a kid, that's already someone in your life. By the way, it was nice that
you included him in the reasons you don't want to settle. Imagine you had
settled for a subpar before the poor kid was born? Why do you encourage
others to do that now?
This is really the story of feminism. It is hard, yes, being a single
mom, that does not mean you should bring a stranger into your life as
a life partner. It means that you need to put your chin up and go on.
You still got it, babe. You can write! (though you watch too much american
tv and movies, which are inherently sexist, and then you turn around and
regurgitate that) You are only in your 40s. Some
guys are into that! BELIEVE ME! Rock and Roll, stop complainin' and join
us! Those married bee-atches would leave their husbands in a heart beat if they
had complete custody, and we both know that's true.
your sista
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