Ask AisleDash: Honoring a departed parent

by Meg Massie, Posted Mar 20th 2008 10:00AM

Filed Under: Relationships, Budget Advice, Engagement, Etiquette, Receptions, Ceremonies

Dear AisleDash,

My fiancee's father died of cancer a few months after we got engaged. She was very close with him and I know she's devastated that he won't be there for our wedding. What could we do to honor him at our ceremony that won't change the mood from our celebration to feeling like a funeral?

Grieving Groom

Dear Grieving Groom,

I am so sorry about your fiancee's father. Honoring him, and his relationship with his daughter, is a great idea, and there are lots of tasteful ways you can handle this. Memorial candles are a popular way of honoring loved ones at weddings.

If he had a favorite song, perhaps you can include that in the ceremony somehow, like when the bride walks down the aisle.

You can have a moment of silence, and include a message about her father in the program.

Any or all of these things can be done without turning your celebration into a funeral. They are sweet, simple ways to include your fiancee's father in the ceremony without overshadowing the happiness of the day.

And of course, leading up to the ceremony and beyond it, remember that your future wife is going to need to grieve. It sounds like you understand that pretty well. Just continue to be there for her, and understand that she can be simultaneously happy about the wedding and sad about her father.

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Tags: advice, ask-aisledash, bride's-father-deceased, honoring-the-deceased, marriage-advice, memorial-candles, memorials, relationship-advice, wedding-advice