Five bad bridesmaids and how to deal

by Ilona Peltz, Posted Mar 25th 2008 10:00AM

Filed Under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Relationships, Etiquette, Wedding party

You pick your bridesmaids because they're women you care about, people you've known for years, friends and/or family members. You trust that they will all contribute to making this day a special one. But we know that sometimes it doesn't go like that. Sometimes bridesmaids, through nerves or excitement or something less honorable, behave badly. Canadian Bride describes five bad-maid scenarios, and provides suggestions as to how a bride can respond.

1. Spotlight Stealer: The bridesmaid who loses sight of the fact that she's a supporting player, not the focus, the type who, when supposedly toasting you, will announce her new promotion. What do you do? If you make a fuss, you'll make it worse. Smile and be gracious -- let her embarrass herself all by herself. Remember: though it's undoubtedly rude, her announcement doesn't change the fact that this is still your day.

2. Control Freak: She's helpful. Very helpful. Too helpful. She knows how things should be done! Every little thing. Talk to her, and try to keep a sense of humor about it. But if ALL your bridesmaids are acting like control freaks? It could be that the problem is not them ... could it be that your expectations/demands are a little rigid?

3. The Delay Queen: You just can't get her to focus. You have a timetable and a deadline (wedding!), and she's just not working with the team. This, suggests Canadian Bride, is something you should tackle before you ask her to be your bridesmaid. Let her know that there will be obligations that she will have to fit into her schedule. This doesn't give you the right to be a dictator, but you will all have to work together. If, despite your efforts to prepare her, she's still not keeping with the program, there are a few more suggestions here.

4. The Flirt: Wedding receptions are fun and social times, and one of the perks of being a single bridesmaid is that she does bask in the reflected glow of the bride -- bridesmaids do tend to get noticed by the single men. There's nothing wrong with your bridesmaids enjoying the attention, so long as they keep it within reasonable bounds. If one of your attendants is hitting on every man in the room, married or single, don't charge over there and give her what-for. Get someone else to deal with it.

5. The Drunk: Numbers four and five are often the same woman! Since it's almost a given that, with enough people and enough alcohol, someone's going to go overboard, you need to have a plan in place well ahead of the wedding. Some weddings have actual security, but it is often enough to assign one or two friends (large, male friends are a good choice) to act as bouncers. Low-key, polite bouncers, who can take the offending party for a quiet walk in the fresh air and pour her a stiff drink -- of water.

Source

Tags: bad-bridesmaids