AisleDash

Dear AisleDash,

I was recently asked to be a bridesmaid at a cousin's wedding, but there are complications. I respect my cousin but hate the bride, who has been very rude to me all the times we have seen each other, and only asked me to be in the wedding because her future mother-in-law (my aunt) made her. How do I deal with this?

-Unhappy Non-Maid

Dear Unhappy,

I see no reason for you to accept this invitation, forced or no, to be a bridesmaid in this wedding. You respect your cousin, so I understand you don't want to hurt his feelings. But you would only hurt his feelings if you told the whole truth -- "I won't be in your wedding because I hate your bride and think you're making a huge mistake!" You can bow out gracefully without going into quite so much detail.

Simply tell the bride thank you for asking, but you don't feel like you have the time to commit to being a bridesmaid. You'll be happy to attend the wedding as a guest, but you think it's best that she ask someone else to stand with her. Since your aunt pushed her to ask you in the first place, she'll probably be more than happy to relieve you of your duties as bridesmaid. As a compromise, you can offer to do a reading or take on some other task at the wedding, to at least show your cousin that you are supportive.

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