No, not Nigel or Frasier. Dr. George Crane, a real (not television) psychologist, published his Marital Rating Scale back in 1930-something. It's very simple. You go through and tick off the items that apply to your best-beloved. Some of them are good points (merits), some of them are bad (demerits). Total the scores, subtract the bad points from the good ones, and you'll know just exactly how your relationship is faring.

So, you brides: do you wear red nail polish? wear sock feet in the house? refuse to get up first and make breakfast? Tsk, tsk, tsk. And you grooms? Are you forever leaving drawers open? hanging ties on doorknobs? use alcohol? Dr. Crane would be shaking his head at you...

But while it's easy to poke fun at it for the bits that are wildly dated, keep reading. Does the man see to it that his wife has an orgasm every time they make love? (Yes, that's in there!) Do you smile at each other at the end of the day? Does the husband give the wife "real movie star kisses", rather than a inattentive peck on the cheek? Are you polite with each other?

They may not be wildly romantic points, but they are the nitty-gritty that keeps a relationship chugging along smoothly. It's hard to be romantic with someone who criticizes you in front of your friends, is grumpy most of the time, and takes you totally for granted.

So, take the test. You'll laugh at the irrelevant bits -- but you may also learn something. We just want to know why Dr. Crane didn't include "leaves the seat up" in the demerit section for husbands ...

via: Andrew Sullivan