There are people who claim an elopement is by definition a breach of etiquette. If you don't have a proper wedding, even if it's a very small one, you have committed a huge social faux pas. However, there are good reasons to elope: Maybe there's been a death of a close family member, and you no longer feel a big wedding is appropriate, so you slip off very quietly to city hall to have it made formal; maybe you simply can't afford a big wedding; maybe there are insurmountable religious/cultural differences. Emily Post and Judith Martin acknowledge that etiquette puts consideration and kindness above rules and regs. Sure the rest of us can do the same?But if there's one rule that stands up to just about every situation, it is this: An elopement is a secret. Nobody knows but the two of you.
Why is that important to etiquette?
Because as soon as you invite someone -- anyone! -- along with you, you've made a choice. (Never mind that bringing people to your 'elopement' turns it into a very small wedding.) When you tell half-a-dozen people about your elopement, you have not told a whole pile of other people. You have, in essence, declared that these people are the ones who really matter, and the rest are grade-B friends/family.
You can't be doing that. Not without hurting feelings. If you're going to elope, then elope. That means no one knows until after, when you send out the announcements -- then throw a party to celebrate!
You can't be doing that. Not without hurting feelings. If you're going to elope, then elope. That means no one knows until after, when you send out the announcements -- then throw a party to celebrate!
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What's in a name?
Dress of the day: Anastasia by Maggie Sottero
Unusual wedding cakes from Dragons and Daffodils
