Kids at the wedding. Do you, don't you? The biggest concern, beyond the cost of feeding them if they will be present at the reception, is behavior. Some children will be thrilled by the wedding, and sit quietly for the duration. (Yes, they really will!) Others, however, will soon be bored and restless, and some of those will not be content to fidget a bit, but will be downright disruptive.Babies and toddlers, in particular, are notorious for being unpredictable and loud. Babies and toddlers are also the very ones that parents find hardest to leave behind.
Whether love children and want to be welcoming, or would rather not have them there at all but have been manipulated by family politics into having them present, against your preferences, you share the same dilemma: how to ensure a quiet, uninterrupted ceremony?
One obvious way is to provide on-site babysitting.
First, you'll need the space. If you're getting married in a church, nothing could be easier: churches almost always have nursery facilities. If you're getting married in another facility, you'll have to scope out the space with an eye to an accessible room -- close enough for a parent to zip out with a fractious child, but far enough away (or well enough sound-proofed!) that the other guests won't hear them.
Second, you'll need the sitters. Where to find them? Ask amongst the guests. It could well be that there are teens in the family who would prefer to tend to the tots than sit through the ceremony. Does your town have a college with an Early Childhood Education program? How about the Red Cross or St. John's Ambulance, which offer babysitting training? A Four-H program?
And finally, who pays the sitters? It doesn't have to be you. You've provided the facilities and the sitters. You could decide that it's reasonable enough that the parents who need the service pay for it, though if you go that route it's only fair to the sitters that you make this clear to the parents in advance. ("Childcare will be available on-site at $X/hour/child.")
It's not something you have to do. Etiquette doesn't demand it. But you could be buying yourself a little karma: in a few years, maybe you'll have kids of your own ... This could be your own personal version of paying it forward.
And thanks to Little Miss Romp for permission to use her terrific picture!
First, you'll need the space. If you're getting married in a church, nothing could be easier: churches almost always have nursery facilities. If you're getting married in another facility, you'll have to scope out the space with an eye to an accessible room -- close enough for a parent to zip out with a fractious child, but far enough away (or well enough sound-proofed!) that the other guests won't hear them.
Second, you'll need the sitters. Where to find them? Ask amongst the guests. It could well be that there are teens in the family who would prefer to tend to the tots than sit through the ceremony. Does your town have a college with an Early Childhood Education program? How about the Red Cross or St. John's Ambulance, which offer babysitting training? A Four-H program?
And finally, who pays the sitters? It doesn't have to be you. You've provided the facilities and the sitters. You could decide that it's reasonable enough that the parents who need the service pay for it, though if you go that route it's only fair to the sitters that you make this clear to the parents in advance. ("Childcare will be available on-site at $X/hour/child.")
It's not something you have to do. Etiquette doesn't demand it. But you could be buying yourself a little karma: in a few years, maybe you'll have kids of your own ... This could be your own personal version of paying it forward.
And thanks to Little Miss Romp for permission to use her terrific picture!
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