AisleDash

Dear AisleDash,

When my fiance and I sent out our wedding invitations, we didn't specify a dress code. We don't really care what people wear -- we just want them to be comfortable, and as long as I'm the only one in the big white dress, I'm happy. But my future mother-in-law just told us that she bought her dress for our wedding -- and it's white with lots of bead work on it. That sounds a lot like my wedding gown! I know it's just a dress and she got it at the mall, not David's Bridal, but I still feel really offended that she would wear white to our wedding. Doesn't everyone know that's a big no-no? I feel weird asking her to wear something else, but I really don't want her to show up in a white dress at my wedding. How do I get her to rethink this decision?

~Only One Bride

Dear Only One Bride,

Most people do know better than to wear white to a wedding. And yet it seems there's always some woman who either doesn't know the rules or doesn't think they apply to her, or maybe she just hates the bride and wants to be inappropriate -- it doesn't matter, though, there's always someone.

You can adopt the outlook that if it's not your FMIL, someone else will do it, and shake it off. Or maybe you can't. I can understand getting annoyed that she would wear something not only so against standard wedding guest etiquette, but something so similar in style and color to your own gown. That is tacky of her.

It's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, though, so I wouldn't risk family peace with an angry confrontation. If it really bothers you, ask your fiance to say something to his mother, the sooner the better. "Mom, don't you know only the bride is supposed to wear white? Please exchange the dress, or save it for a different occasion." If she won't budge, though, I would drop it. People will still know you're the bride -- I promise.

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