AisleDash

What went through your head at first?

"Oh my God, Tim -- are you crazy?" and then "Don't let Tim see you looking freaked out!" And then I figured it'd be OK. I just worried about living up to their expectations. They'll remember their wedding forever, after all, and it'd be a shame if I couldn't perform the ceremony the way they'd want it done.

We saw that you got ordained online. Did you already know about it, or did you have to look for ways to be eligible to perform the ceremony?

I think we both figured it was possible, because we had friends who'd been ordained just to perform weddings -- and, of course, Joey on Friends did it, so...

So you already had some knowledge of what could be done.

Yes, and it was surprisingly easy to become "official" -- it literally took less than 5 minutes filling out my address on a website.

How did you prepare yourself prior to meeting with them?

Other than that, I'm embarrassed to admit I didn't prepare much before meeting with Tim and Jenny. Once we got together we talked a lot about big stuff: how they viewed marriage, what they valued about their relationship, etc, and then of course the details: who would write what, what traditional aspects of wedding ceremonies they wanted to include, stuff they wanted to avoid, etc.

Wow, I'm not sure I'd even know what to ask about what they wanted. That's pretty cool.

Fortunately they'd done a lot of research about different kinds of ceremonies and different traditions. Which is funny, because when it came to writing their wedding vows, they were both putting their thoughts together 15min before the ceremony. (which turned out kind of sweet, in spite of the panic)

How long did it take you to come up with your piece of the ceremony?

It was only a 20min ceremony, so not very long. I wrote what I guess you'd call a rough draft over a few hours. Then, outside of making me modify the opening sex joke so it wasn't quite so off-color, Tim and Jenny only made a few minor changes.

I didn't know if you'd gone over things with them or were just going to surprise them. So it sounds like it was pretty collaborative.

Definitely -- they knew in advance what I was going to say. We're friends and all, but they don't trust me that much. :)

Did you approach it solemnly or with a little bit of fun, since it sounds like you and Tim have an easygoing relationship?

Both, I think. In addition to bride and groom, Tim and Jenny are best friends (and have been together for 7 years) -- so they were going into this with a healthy perspective, I think. Plus, while they certainly were taking the commitment seriously, neither wanted to let that get in the way of their generally laid back approach to life in general.

Tell me a little bit more about the "oops" you mentioned on your post.

I'm pretty sure the worst mistake was that I inadvertently told everyone that they'd already been married for 7 years. Then tried to cover it up with something self-depricating -- and no one laughed. ...awkward... But it was fine. I realized a couple sentences later that I'd just said married, and corrected myself.

So you said "married" instead of "together" for seven years.

Right. It really doesn't sound that bad in retrospect.

No, it doesn't. But at the time, I bet it felt pretty huge.

Yes, I just wanted everything to go smoothly. The two of them had enough to worry about.

And what did they think when everything was over? About your overall performance?

I don't think anyone was disappointed -- Tim's dad still shook my hand and Jenny's mom said is was nice. Mutual friends who were also there said it went well. Certainly no one said anything negative. At least not to my face. Ha. ;)

It sounds like you put a lot of yourself into it because you want to take it seriously, and really care that it comes off well for your friends' sake. Rather than treating it as a joke. But I'm sure they knew that when they asked you.

I think so -- that, out of all of their friends, they figured I'd be the one least likely to crack while speaking in front of people. Ha.

So if another friend approached you, would you do it again? Or was this just a one-time deal?

If it was a close friend and it meant a lot to them, then definitely. Otherwise, I'm not sure I'll be seeking out opportunities to do this again. I was really honored to be involved, but it's nerve-racking. :)

Thank you so much for your time, Jonathon. We really appreciate it.

No problem at all. :) Glad I could help!

Image: © kendramarie (used with permission)