Fathers of the bride are often given no more than a passing sentence in the etiquette books, and it's an expensive one: "Traditionally, the wedding and reception are paid for by the bride's family." As bridal couples are more and more likey to have been living independently (and, most of the time, together) for some while before the wedding, they are also more and more likely to be paying for their own wedding. An increasing percentage of brides escort their own selves down the aisle.
Which leaves dad doing ... what, exactly? Some dads don't want anything more. Some are perfectly content to wear what they're told, show up when and where they're told, and otherwise stay out of the limelight.
If you'd like more input than that on this most important day, there are a few things you can be doing that your daughter will truly appreciate. Experienced FOTB Ken York has a few pointers for you. The first one starts with not your daughter, but her mother. Give her something (Ken suggests jewelery), and with the gift say something sweet and thoughtful about all her hard work in raising this lovely young woman. If that doesn't make you Man of the Year (or at least the Hour) in her heart, we don't know what will.
Other tips?
1. Run interference for the bride. On the day, Ken observers, helpful people may very well swarm her with "what can we do?" offers. What you dads can do is have a list of small chores that you can dispense to keep these well-meaning folk from driving your poor stressed daughter to distraction. Check out his post for a few suggestions of wedding-day busy-work.
2. Take a minute with your daughter (and he means a literal minute), to tell her how proud you are of her and how much she means to you. This will be a memory she will treasure for years. Truly.
3. No matter what your private feelings, say only nice things about the groom. We all hope you feel them, too, but sometimes life's not just that tidy, is it?
4. Be prepared for the father-daughter dance. If you don't know how to dance, take some lessons -- surprise your daughter! (And your wife!) Again, this will give you long-term relationship points with both these women.
Think these are on the right track? Check out Wedding Day Etiquette for more tips for dad.
2. Take a minute with your daughter (and he means a literal minute), to tell her how proud you are of her and how much she means to you. This will be a memory she will treasure for years. Truly.
3. No matter what your private feelings, say only nice things about the groom. We all hope you feel them, too, but sometimes life's not just that tidy, is it?
4. Be prepared for the father-daughter dance. If you don't know how to dance, take some lessons -- surprise your daughter! (And your wife!) Again, this will give you long-term relationship points with both these women.
Think these are on the right track? Check out Wedding Day Etiquette for more tips for dad.
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