All along you've assumed that after the big day your bride will become Mrs. Groom. You're sitting in the kitchen, chatting with her sister, and she very casually mentions that she will not be changing her name. Most women in the US do change their names, but a certain percentage (10 - 20, depending on who you read) do not. For some men, this is not a big deal: she's agreed to marry you, after all, live with you forever, put up with your goofy sense of humor, maybe even have your babies. That's plenty!

Others, the traditional sort, might find this a bit hard to take. They might see it as a personal rejection, and react accordingly. Of course, it's not a rejection. She's agreed to marry you, live with you forever... (you know the drill, we just said all that). But it can feel that way, anyway.

You might need to have a conversation. Not a conversation so that you can change her mind, a conversation so that you can understand why she's made this choice. Before the conversation, though, think for a bit -- really, really think -- about how it would feel to have to change your name to hers. Never mind that it's not "traditional", and thus "stupid". What would it feel like? And if even a teeny little part of you says, "I couldn't do that! It's my name!", you don't need to have the conversation with her. You already understand why.