Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

Does the extravagance of the Sex and the City 2 wedding reflect any aspects of real-life gay weddings? Just like heterosexual nuptials, same-sex weddings are as varied as the couples who are tying the knot. "Just as some straight weddings are grand productions, so are some nuptials of same-sex couples," says Kristen Palladino, editor in chief of Equally Wed magazine. "But many, many gay, lesbian and transgender weddings land somewhere in the middle of expensive extravagance and shoestring budget weddings. I've seen gay weddings with guest lists topping three hundred, as well as an intimate 20-person audience in a small rose garden."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

Stanford and Anthony's wedding invitation (which includes a photograph of the grooms) reflects how many real-life gay couples select personalized invitations. "Whether it's a distinctive monogram or a whimsical drawing of the couple, custom invitations have a bigger impact because they're a truer reflection of the couple," says invitation designer Katie Fischer Cohen. "Often the couple will choose to have the original painting of their caricature framed. This is definitely another trend -- unique and memorable touches that can be used at the wedding and saved after the reception is over."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

Because of legal restrictions, many same-sex weddings -- like the Connecticut nuptials of New Yorkers Stanford and Anthony -- are held outside of the couple's home state. "A ton of couples are having smaller weddings as it becomes legal in their area," says Lara Swanson, cofounder of the Web site So You're EnGAYged. "We're also seeing an upswing in destination weddings -- both in the U.S. and abroad -- where couples can get legally wed in a state that's not their own!"

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

"One of the coolest aspects of same-sex weddings is that there is no precedent, so a lot of couples are creating their own traditions," says Swanson of So You're EnGAYged. In line with this, couples adapt traditional wedding attire to fit their personal preferences -- a lesbian wedding could involve two brides who wear wedding dresses or two brides who don suits. These couples are also increasingly selecting made-to-order clothing that feels beautiful and comfortable: "We're definitely seeing a new trend in women purchasing custom suits," says Swanson.

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

Like Stanford and Anthony's personalized (and Liza Minnelli - conducted!) vows, many same-sex ceremonies include passages that are tailored to reflect the couple's relationship. "Nonreligious readings are huge in the gay community -- though, of course, plenty of LGBT couples embrace religion and showcase it in their weddings," says Palladino of Equally Wed. "One of the most popular readings at both gay and allied weddings is the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in that state. Others include writings by famous lesbians and gays, such as Sappho or Walt Whitman."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

To document their weddings, same-sex couples are moving toward a mixture of stylized processing and photojournalism. Angie McCaffrey of Entwined Studio says that gay couples want her to capture "intimate moments without interrupting them" and add "a touch of attitude and fashion to the staged portraits." To do this, she says, "We very consciously decided that we would shoot gay weddings the same as straight ones because ultimately it just boils down to two people in love. Capturing that love is what we are hired to do."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

For many gay couples, recognizing the legitimacy of the wedding takes on a special significance in the wake of legal barriers to marriage. "Because most gay weddings in this country are not legally recognized -- as of right now, only five states and the District of Columbia issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples -- most gay couples don't have a state-issued marriage license to sign with their officiant and witnesses on the day of their weddings," says Equally Wed's Palladino. "Some gay couples are going DIY and creating their own marriage certificates. Others are using ketubahs, traditional Jewish wedding documents that the couple signs."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

Same-sex couples are taking advantage of the wide range of DIY, handmade items available in order to update traditional wedding details into more customized styles. "In decor and wedding favors, we are clearly seeing the purchases move to the handmade market and away from mass produced items," says Etsy seller Beccijo of The Enchanted Cupboard. "This is especially true in areas like cake toppers, which are now being custom painted or crafted. Many same-sex couples are deciding to choose themes that buck the traditional color schemes and motifs."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

While Sex and the City 2 features two men who decide to tie the knot, currently weddings between lesbians are more common than weddings between gay men. According to data collected by the 14 Stories Gay Wedding Institute, two-thirds of same-sex weddings have two brides, while one-third have two grooms.
But when it comes to the wedding style, the tastes of the couples involved have more of an impact than whether the wedding is between two men or two women. "I think one major difference is not between men and women, but between masculine and feminine. If the couple is comprised of two masculine individuals, regardless of gender, the decor and flowers are targeted toward a more masculine atmosphere," says Palladino of Equally Wed.

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends

When it comes to dessert, most couples seem to agree that cupcakes definitely take the cake. Although Stanford and Anthony have an ornate white wedding cake in the movie, these days many gay couples opt for less traditional desserts. "I have been seeing a lot of couples -- throughout the wedding industry -- find alternatives to the traditional wedding cake," says Stacy Jill Jacobs, marketing director of the website Queerly Wed. "Donuts, cupcakes and candy buffet bars seem to be quite fashionable right now."

Gay & Lesbian Wedding Trends