A Bridesmaid Is Not Your Free Wedding Planner

by Anne Chertoff, Posted Oct 13th 2010 8:00AM

Cheryl Hoffman

If you saw the movie 27 Dresses, the main character, Jane, is a bridesmaid or MOH in 27 weddings. At each one, including her sister's, she is acting more like a wedding planner and not a bridesmaid or MOH.

Your bridesmaids and MOH should not be your wedding planner -- unless, of course, that's what she does for a living and has offered to work with you as your wedding planner. It is NOT fair for you to expect your bridesmaids to schedule appointments with vendors for you or do any research for you. You can bring them with you wedding-dress shopping and to meet with a vendor, but they are not your private army of wedding planners.

Here's a list of the main bridesmaid and maid of honor responsibilities:

Plan and host the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
Shop for and buy the bridesmaids' dresses and accessories that the bride selects.
Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
If the bride asks, help with wrapping wedding favors, binding programs, stuffing invitation envelopes, etc...
Show up on time on the wedding day with a positive attitude
Help the bride get ready.
Walk down the aisle without complaining about the order or who the bride paired you with.
Take part in the ceremony if the bride asks.
Dance and have a great time at the reception.