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Verdict: Tacky
We've heard of the efficient but misguided bride or maid of honor who asks shower guests to address their own thank-you notes when they walk into the party. Think about the message that sends: "I'm so happy you could make it to my shower and I love the dessert plates you got me ... just not enough to write your name and street number one more time. Cheers." Don't even think about it.
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Reader comments (Page 1 of 5)
tacky..........along with form-letter or email thank you notes. Traditional, personal note is the least the bride to be can do.............
Think about the message that sends: "I'm so happy you could make it to my shower and I love the dessert plates you got me ... just not enough to write your name and street number one more time. Cheers." Don't even think about it.I am an Air Force and single at present .I need a woman who can love me back ..I also uploaded my hot photos on Uniformedmingle .c om under the name of hoho212..It's the largest and best club for seeking Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Police Force, and the admirers of those who wear the uniform.I just hope you don't mind me being a soldier ...Please Check it out!I'm serious.
VERY TACKY!!! I went to a bridal shower in August and everything listed happened. We also had to write our address on thank you cards. Also the bridal party giving the shower served their table first for the lunch. At the wedding everyone had assigned seating; the brides friends and family were seated up front and the grooms friends and family were seated in the back. The tables seated eight to a table, but our table ten guests. At the door we picked up our name tags with our names and guests names, clearly there was not enough room at our table for everyone. Luckily two tables did not show up on the grooms side and we had to grab three chairs and three sets of silverware to eat with. I have never been to a wedding like this!
Only thing tackyer is no thank-you at all.
The very least.
I don't think it's tacky. Maybe for a Bridal shower, I can see the writer's point, but the personal note is what matters, not the address. For a baby shower-heck yeah write out your address for the person, they are miserable at this point. Friends shouldn't care about this petty stuff.
I have been to several showers and weddings and they NEVER send a thank you.. To me, that's really tacky...
I'm not quite sure how 'no thank you' is different from the thank you note you address to yourself. You might as well turn the note over and write your own note and leave 50cents for the stamp. Or better yet, slip it in your purse and save the bride the bother of wrting the note or mailing it.
Of course, you could have slipped the invitation into the trash, not attended the event, and saved everybody all the hassle and fuss.
But the point of good manners is not to save someone the effort of being polite. The point of thank yous is not only for the gift, but to develop a give and take relationship that will last years because you appreciate the effort friends take to celebrate with you. It should be an effort, small one, but none the less, a person who can't be bothered to say thank you isn't much to look forward to as a friend.
Because of neurological damage, my oldest has a difficult time staying organized and just navigating through a normal day. She lives a distance from me and, when she was pregnant with her first baby, I had a shower for her here at my house. My daughter was unable to travel to the shower so guests arrived with unwrapped gifts. We took a picture of each guest with her gift and then each guest wrapped her gift and we put them all in my van for my trip to my daughter's the following week. I had also purchased a supply of Thank You notes and each guest happily addressed a note to herself. At the end of the shower, we put all of the pictures into a small album and I tucked the pre-addressed notes into the album with each picture. When I brought the gifts to my daughter, I took pictures of her opening each gift so that I could provide each of the givers with a picture of her gift being opened and "Ooohed and Aaaahed" over. The final gift was the picture album. It not only helped my daughter to remember who gave which gift, but it also made the task of writing thank you notes a more manageable one for her. I am so grateful for my friends and family who are compassionate enough to think outside the box and who realize that "tacky" is sometimes a loving gesture.
Normally I would say guests addressing envelopes is tacky. But this here is a special situation. There was alot of effort put into the way you handles everything else(the shower photos, the photo album, the photos sent with the thank-yous, etc.) Kudos for you, for finding a way to make it all work where no one should have been slighted- giver or receiver!!
It was still tacky. My friend's mother addressed all the thank you notes for her. That was a loving gesture, although still ridiculous, and you could have done that, however to ask someone to address their own thank you note, for any reason, is tacky. Period.
That was an awesome and loving gesture!! That will be a family heirloom!
Why couldn't you have picked up your daughter for her baby shower??
Red, I could not pick her up because she was told by her doctor not to travel.
I have never heard of this before. Guests addressing thier own thank you notes? Yes, ver tacky.
I have hosted MANY different types parties. Because of lack of good penmanship on my part, I do address labels for EVERYTHING related to the party, including a set for the "guest of honor". Depending on the occasion, I will also include coordinated "thank you" notes. (ALWAYS blank inside). This may not be completely correct but I think it is better than NO thank you notes.
Tacky, tacky, tacky. I didn't give you a printed label on your gift. If you cannot write a thank you note, do not invite me, I will not get in MY car, take My cash and go buy YOU a present and thoughtfully wrap it and drive it to your party. If someone asked me to address my own thank you card, I would refuse. I can write my own.
Yep, the last wedding I attended also asked us to fill out the "thank you" envelope...I WONDERED what the hell that was for...until I received the thank you card in the mail...with the envelope in my own handwriting. LOL Have to say, though, it does save the bride a lot of time. lol
I've never seen this at a bridal shower, but I have at a baby shower. There I didn't think it was tacky, it seemed to be a good idea as the new mom was probably going to be a little busy once the little one arrives.
Back to the Bridal shower, Since the BRIDE is NOT supposed to be throwing the shower, I am not sure how this is quite as tacky as you all think it is. Or, assuming that it is still tacky, how it reflects poorly on the BRIDE. In theory, since she is not the host of the shower, but the guest of honor, one would think she has had little say in any of the planning surrounding the shower.
You make a very valid point! Personally, I don't think addressing an envelope to ensure proper delivery is a big deal. This means a thank you note will be written and you can expect it at the address you provided. You're probably the same people that complain you never received one, only to find out the address was wrong. Sometimes the postal service isn't what it's cracked up to be either and things do get lost in the mail. There are so many things going on in the world than to be "upset" about writing your own envelope.....grow up.
This may be a cultural thing because where I am from, this is a common practice. No one considers it tacky. We actually turn it into a game. The envelopes are placed in a basket and then are randomly chosen to receive a prize.