AisleDash

Dear AisleDash,

I've picked out a song that I really want to use in my wedding when I walk down the aisle. It's a popular song with lyrics, so I know that's not really traditional, but it would mean a lot to me to use this song. The problem is that the song is almost four minutes long, and no matter how slowly I walk, I can't make my walk last more than a minute or so. Should we just start the song, walk really slowly, and then stand up at the front with my fiance until the song is over? How do I work around this problem?

~L.B.

Dear L.B.,

Lots of people use popular music these days in their weddings. If you play this song before the wedding begins, or as your recessional instead of your processional, you can play the whole song with no problem. If it is important to you to use as your processional specifically, then I'd suggest one of two simple solutions:

You could start the song as your attendants start walking down the aisle. Between their walk time and yours, you can use most of the song so that people aren't just standing around waiting for it to finish up after everyone makes it to the front.

Alternatively, you could simply have your sound person fade the song out when you make it to the front. Pick the one-minute part of the song you like best and instruct your sound tech to play that part of it. Of course you can play the whole thing and stand at the front waiting for it to finish up, but I think that would be sort of awkward.

Do you have a question for Ask AisleDash? Use the Contact AisleDash link at the top of the page, or leave it in the comments section. And be sure to look for our answers every Thursday.

The first time I ever saw Mount Rainier, I cried. I cannot imagine a more beautiful landscape than a giant, snow-covered mountain towering above a green valley below. The contrast is stunning, and I could stare at it all day.

You don't have to be a skier or a mountaineer to enjoy mountains (I am neither), and you'll find lots to enjoy at Rainier. At 14,410 feet, it is the tallest mountain in Washington and one of the tallest in all of North America -- and a lovely place to host a destination wedding.

It rains frequently at Mount Rainier and the surrounding areas, though July and August are the sunniest months of the year. No matter when you plan your Rainier wedding, be sure your plans can handle a little rain, because there's a good chance you'll get it.

When you get invited to a Renaissance theme wedding, you are expected to get into the theme. The bride and groom don't really expect you to pull a 16th-century ball gown out of the back of your closet, but they do hope you'll dress the part.

Costume stores are a great place to look for clothes for a Renaissance wedding. You're probably not going to ever have an occasion to wear such an outfit again, so look for costume rentals in the yellow pages. Ebay is another great place to look for bargains on Renaissance inspired clothing.
Ask the bride and groom about the dress code. For theme weddings, dressing up is usually more important than dressing formally, so if you like the more casual clothes of the period better than the super-fancy, super-layered stuff, go with what you like!

Are you one of those cynical wedding guests who delights in seeing things go wrong at weddings? Well, shame on you, if you are. But even we have to admit that this Wedding Bingo game from Groom 411 is pretty funny. Just don't let the bride catch you playing.

The bingo cards are filled with things that can go wrong at weddings: groom says the wrong name, groom's ex makes a scene, someone objects during the ceremony, the bride's parents can't stop crying, etc. We really hope none of these things happen at your wedding -- certainly not enough for anyone to get a real bingo -- but we like the idea.

We suggest that it could be fun for guests to take this premise, but change the things on the card to something a little less disastrous. Things that happen at weddings, that could be fun to watch for, and that no one will hate you for laughing about: minister mispronounces the bride's name, maid of honor cries during her toast, you catch a groomsman and a bridesmaid making out, the bride smashes the cake in her groom's face, little kids break dancing, and so on. Have fun!

Reality television strikes again! The producers of Top Chef and Project Greenlight are teaming up with Lifetime for a new reality television show about marriage -- but this one has a twist. A big one.

The new show. Lifetime's Arranged Marriage, will feature men and women who have agreed to let their loved ones choose a spouse for them. Does anyone really trust their friends and family that much?

Arranged marriages are very common and successful in some cultures, but didn't we learn anything from Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire? It seems the lesson was that even if the marriage is a disaster, it's a good way to hook millions of viewers and get your 15 minutes of fame...

If you think you could spend the rest of your life with a partner your family chooses for you, you can apply now to be on the show. In addition to filling out the application for the show, please, please tell us in the comments why you think this is a good idea.

Dear AisleDash,

I just found out that our reception venue charges for parking. It's only a few bucks per car, but I had no idea when I booked the place! Am I supposed to pay for all my guests to park? If not, how do I tell them? What's the etiquette here?

~Urban Bride

Dear Urban,

You do not necessarily have to pay for all of your guests to park, but it would be a very nice thing for you to do. You do have to tell them in advance, so that they're not "hit with surprise charges," as they say. The best way for you to do this is to include an insert with your invitations explaining the charge for parking, and also mapping the area to point out the nearest free parking.

If your invitations have already gone out, it seems to me that you will have to just pay for everyone's parking at this point, because there is no proper way to spring this on guests now. Many of them won't bring cash with them to your ceremony and will be in a bind when they get to your reception venue if there is a charge they aren't prepared for.

Alternatively, have you considered hiring a wedding shuttle? If everyone is staying in the same hotel, a shuttle to the ceremony and reception sites and back can be a very nice way to tackle this problem. With a shuttle available, if people still choose to drive themselves, then the burden of parking fees is on them, not you.

Do you have a question for Ask AisleDash? Use the Contact AisleDash link at the top of the page, or leave it in the comments section. And be sure to look for our answers every Thursday.

On New Year's Eve 2003, Tonks and her husband were married in his game-themed dream wedding. The deal was that he got his dream wedding, so she'd have hers one day, too. The couple plans to renew their vows in an entirely knitted wedding ceremony in June 2010.

That's right: knitted. Everything from the outfits to the decorations, invitations, favors, and even food will be hand-knit by the bride herself. She blogs about her projects and hosts a podcast so you can follow her progress and learn more about this fascinating endeavor.

We recently caught up with Tonks to talk about her projects. Keep reading to see our interview.

Renaissance weddings aren't just about the great costumes. The whole thing is made to be as historically accurate as possible, right down to the little details. That means you'll need a medieval menu for your Renaissance wedding.

Getting a good period menu will be easiest if you work with a caterer who has done this sort of thing before. You might have luck finding someone like this at a Renaissance festival. If you can't find a caterer with Renaissance experience, don't worry too much -- this type of menu is fairly easy to assemble.

Common dishes at a medieval wedding are lambs' legs, roasted quail, turtledove, goose, roasted boar, calves' head, and venison. Typical beverages are ale, beer, wine, and fruit juice.

Unfortunately for vegetarians, buffets of the period focused on meat, and veggies were little more than a garnish. The food presentation can be unnerving for a vegetarian, too. (As a vegetarian who recently attended her first Renaissance wedding, I got a bit faint when an entire roasted boar was presented at the reception. I couldn't even stomach what little vegetarian fare was available.) We are not suggesting that you compromise the authenticity of your reception menu for the vegetarians -- but maybe seat them somewhere with their backs to any animal heads that might be on the buffet table, and have your caterers prepare something more 21st century for these guests.

Greenzer is a brand new website designed to make shopping for environmentally friendly products easier. The site rates products of all kinds, listing only those that meet its tough green standards. The selection is still small on this new site, but there are some products on the site that would make great green wedding or shower gifts.

One featured wedding gift on the site is the Ceago Vintner's Wine Collection, which comes with two wines (red and white, for either taste), assorted roasted nuts, fresh fruits and chocolate caramel pecan clusters -- all of which are organic. The set also comes with a bottle biodynamic, cold-pressed olive oil.

In addition to some really nice green gift sets, Greenzer lists hundreds of cosmetics products, which would be great for the bride and her bridesmaids at the wedding. They also make good shower gifts or gifts for the bridesmaids.

A couple walked into a Norfolk, Virginia courthouse and married a few months ago, after successfully applying for all the necessary legal documentation. At the time, no eyebrows were raised and the short ceremony went off without any complications.

Since then, Virginia officials have realized that the bride, Justine McCain, was actually Justin McCain. Same sex marriages are illegal in Virginia, and now the couple faces charges.

There is some gray area, though -- if the couple intentionally misled officials, then there's trouble, but if McCain is transgendered and actually identifies as female, then there may be no fraud, though the marriage still may not be legal. There is very little legal precedent for transgender marriages.

Newport News marriage application paperwork has since changed the words "bride" and "groom" to "male applicant" and "female applicant."

My family is from Virginia. His is from Oregon. Both of our families are huge. Getting everyone together for a wedding would have been a huge expense for everyone involved. At least half of our potential guest list would be facing a cross country trip, and then we'd be facing the bill to host them all. Oof.

So we eloped.

The cost of traveling is a huge concern these days, and you should consider how much you're asking of people when you invite them to a wedding hundreds of miles from home. If your guests share my family's mentality that weddings are mandatory, then you might actually be doing them a favor by trimming the guest list. You don't have to elope, but keeping a wedding small and intimate will save money across the board, not to mention the environmental impact of all that travel.

For the maid of honor who wants to go the extra mile, it's always nice to add little personal touches to a wedding shower, like these personalized coasters from For Your Party. In addition to wedding showers, these coasters would be great for rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions.

You start with a blank slate on one of ten different coaster styles. Different shapes and materials are available. From there, you add the text and pictures that you want, in the colors and font of your choice from the wide selection on the website.

It takes just a few minutes to design these adorable coasters (the hardest part is narrowing down your selections!). When you're done, you've got a lovely and inexpensive bit of flair for your party.

Visit For Your Party to order.

In the days and weeks leading up to your wedding, you'll probably sit down to half a dozen dinner parties. You'll have showers and a rehearsal dinner and maybe even a bridesmaids' luncheon. That's why we love these plates as a gift idea -- as a gift either from the bride to her bridesmaids, or the bridesmaids to the bride.

My Clean Plate Club sells a variety of custom plates that would be perfect for any or all of these pre-wedding dinner celebrations. The plates vary from traditional scripted monograms to modern designs also featuring monograms or whole names, and you can get childrens' plates as well.

These would make sweet keepsakes for each member of your wedding party to take home with them, or the wedding party could pool together and present the bride and groom with a whole set of the plates. We especially love the idea of getting these plates for the kids at your wedding. Kids love personalized gifts, and you have dozens of adorable styles to choose from!

Flip through the gallery to see some of our favorite designs. To see more options and to order, visit My Clean Plate Club.

Laura Wolf's 2001 novel, Diary of a Mad Bride, is one of those books every bride should read. The book isn't full of good advice on wedding planning; rather, it's full of what-not-to-do's.

We all know girls who've gone completely loco as soon as they get engaged, but none of us thinks we'll be the next bridezilla. Wolf's engaging novel takes us along one bride's road to bridezillaville, showing readers how even level-headed girls can go a little crazy when it comes to planning a wedding.

As readers watch protagonist Amy Thomas slip from cool, witty, and collected into a maniacal mess, the very real and honest tone of the book works as a mirror for brides to note the ways they may be prone to losing control -- and the respect of all their friends and loved ones -- in the course of their own wedding planning.

The message of the book is a good one for all potential brides and bridezillas: even when nothing goes according to plan, the end goal is not a beautiful wedding, but a beautiful marriage.

We all know that Etsy is a great place to shop for wedding accessories, and we've got another seller to add to your radar. Rivkasmom on Etsy specializes in steampunk designs for her jewelry and accessories, including some really stunning cufflinks. These unique designs are made of vintage materials like old buttons and watch gears -- unlikely pieces that come together in beautiful compositions.

Because the designer uses only real vintage materials, all items are one-of-a-kind. Cufflinks currently listed on her site range from $35-$75 and she ships internationally. If you like what you see but want something a little different, be sure to ask about custom pieces. This seller does take custom orders for bridal parties, and her pieces would make great gifts for your groomsmen and bridesmaids.

Flip through the gallery below for some examples of these steampunk designs, and visit Rivkasmom's Etsy store to place an order or inquire about custom designs.