AisleDash

One of the hardest parts about planning a wedding is facing the fact that someone you love will not be able to be there for your big day. Maybe you have family or friends who live too far away, or maybe your loved ones have conflicting schedules. One couple decided that rather than leave anyone out, they would bring the wedding to their friends and family -- even though it meant having five weddings in nine months.

It started with an elopement: Simonne Harris' boyfriend, Ryan Feeney, whisked her off to Las Vegas three months into their relationship. He proposed during their transatlantic flight, dropping an engagement ring into her glass, and then announced that he had already arranged for them to be married at the famous Little White Wedding Chapel.

Last month, they were married again in Bodrum, Turkey, where the groom's mother lives. They are planning three more ceremonies -- one in August in their hometown of Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, in England, one in September in Florida, where the bride's father lives, and a final ceremony in Lilydale, Victoria, Australia, where the bride's mother lives.

Each ceremony has its own flair; the Turkish wedding took place at sunset, the Florida wedding will be a Jewish blessing, and the Aussie wedding will have purple flowers, the mother of the bride's favorite.

And yes, the bride is wearing a different dress for every wedding.

A wedding is a funny thing: it can often take on a life of its own, and before your very eyes grow and morph into something much larger and more complicated than you were imagining when you began planning. It is often easy to lose sight of the fact that a wedding is about getting married and starting a life together, not about the gown or the dinner or the gifts. And it is often hard to pinpoint the moment when your small wedding became a big event.

At AisleDash, we are experts on the small wedding. We have first-hand experience with planning and budgeting and negotiating the specific etiquette of the small wedding. And we are happy to share what we know with you, in order to make your small wedding planning go more smoothly.

We consider a wedding to be "small" if the guest list has no more than 100 names on it; some of the weddings we will profile in this series had substantially fewer guests than that (one wedding, for example, was attended only by the bride's immediate family, the best man, and the officiant). Small weddings have their own issues and complications, but they also have distinct rewards. We hope that by sharing our own experiences and tips we will help you to plan the small, elegant wedding you are dreaming of, or perhaps inspire you to cut the guest list and simplify your big day. We hope that our small wedding strategies will enable you to focus on getting married, rather than obsessing about the wedding.

Our small wedding feature will appear on Tuesdays and Thursdays; if you have questions or suggestions for future posts, please send them to us (you can use the Contact link at the top of the page to get in touch).

From the We Sure Hope this is True files: rumor has it that Queen Latifah and Jeannette Jenkins are planning to get married, joining a long list of Hollywood celebrities rushing to tie the knot in the wake of California's legalization of gay marriage. Latifah has been notoriously tight-lipped about her relationship with Jenkins, who she has been dating for five years, and while Cele|bitchy speculates that this may be to protect her high-profile advertising deals, we like to think that the Queen is just a private person, and doesn't need to have her business all over the news.

And yes, we are aware of the irony of reporting about the possible engagement of a celebrity who likes to keep her personal business personal, but we're just so happy for them; we see a lot of celebrities who get all caught up in the fancy Hollywood hype, particularly when a wedding is involved, and it's nice to see the opposite.

The couple are reported to be planning a small ceremony for family and close friends. Latifah has also talked publicly about her desire to adopt a baby; we are hopeful that this will be the beginning of a long and happy family life for her and Jenkins.

Marriage therapist Mira Kirshenbaum has a controversial theory about affairs: an affair, she says, is not necessarily the death knell for a marriage. Instead, it can be the spark that saves the relationship.

Kirshenbaum's assertion comes with quite a few qualifiers, though: the affair has to be the "right kind," for one thing, one that is pursued for love rather than as a conquest, and the cheating spouse must NEVER confess to the adultery, because it is the revelation of the truth that does the real harm. In a new book released this week, When Good People Have Affairs, she asserts that one approach to an affair is to "think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator."

Her point, it seems, is that under the right circumstances, an affair can jolt a person back into a marriage, rather than destroying the marriage. And while many of her Kirshenbaum's peers disagree that the affair itself may be theraputic, they agree that an affair can indeed be a sign of other issues in a relationship. Says Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists, "Maybe this book goes too far, but we do need to take a sociological view of affairs. To think, 'what are we going to do about them?' rather than to say 'it can't happen', when it clearly does."

I find it hard to agree with Ms. Kirshenbaum, if only because I agree with part of what she argues: I think that an affair often is a sign of issues with a marriage, but I am resistant to the idea that the affair can save that marriage ONLY if it is kept a secret. But I have also never been down that road, so I am only speculating.

What say you -- could an affair be good for a marriage? Or is it always the end?

Last week, our friends at Cele|bitchy reported that Ashlee Simpson nearly called off her wedding to Pete Wentz, over a dispute with her father. No, it wasn't about selling the exclusive photo rights to People magazine or sending Evites rather than proper invitations (which would have been a deal-breaker for us, we have to admit), it was about Papa Joe performing the ceremony. At the eleventh hour, apparently, Ashlee decided that she didn't want her dad to officiate; instead, she wanted a Buddhist priest to marry her.

Cele|bitchy's read on the situation is this: "Maybe Joe was pissed because the wedding was all planned out already, but if Ashlee had an available Buddhist minister in mind, and it's not clear from this article that she did, it seems like a simple change to have a different person officiate. It's her wedding and she should be the one to decide who is marrying her. Instead Joe Simpson almost let her cancel the whole thing because he was too stubborn to step down and concede his daughter's wishes! That's ridiculous. You can understand him being hurt, but it's his daughter's special day and he should care enough about her to step down. Instead Joe showed that his ego is more important than his daughter's feelings."

We at AisleDash wish to disagree. We find ourselves wondering if Simpson (who did not seem to have an alternate officiant actually on call) was looking to get out of the whole wedding. Frankly, we sympathize with her; we can imagine the kind of jitters she must have been feeling, and we can see how having such a high-profile ceremony might have left her feeling pressured to go through with it, doubts be damned.

We think the take-away is this: if you find yourself, at the eleventh hour, looking for any excuse to stop the wedding march, follow your instincts. A wedding is a wonderful thing, but only if it is the start of a wonderful marriage. Even if the Evites have already been sent, it's not too late to decide that you're not ready.

And while we can't even believe we're saying this, we hope that Ashlee was just having a Diva Moment, and not a bad case of cold feet.

Let's face it: Las Vegas doesn't have the best image when it comes to weddings. Elvis impersonators and drive-through chapels aren't every girl's dream of the perfect wedding day. But there's more to Vegas than just drunken I do's. Las Vegas has a whole culture, one that is big and bright and full of cool retro inspiration for your wedding day.

This week at AisleDash, we'll show you how to have a Vegas-inspired wedding that steers clear of tacky and cliche. We'll bring you great Vegas-themed invitations, party favors, gowns, and music, and we'll take a look at some memorable celebrity Vegas nuptials. We'll even tell you how to find an Elvis impersonator in YOUR town, if you want to go that route.

Still wanting to elope? We've got you covered there, too!

I have to admit that I've not seen either of the High School Musical films -- my kids are too young, for one thing, and they're boys, so they really only want to see movies with robots or space ships. Or Scooby Doo.

But I digress.

The kids from High School Musical are big stars with their little fans, and one of those kids -- actress KayCee Stroh -- is getting married. KayCee, 23, who is currently filming the third HSM film, got engaged over the weekend to boyfriend Ben Higginson, 24. Stroh told People.com all about the proposal: "We shot from 6 p.m. until 6 a.m., and Ben was waiting for me in my trailer," Stroh says. "He was waiting for me with a single red rose. Then he took me up to the H Rock, a place at the top of a little mountain that overlooks Salt Lake City, and we watched the sunrise. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him."

She added that Higginson presented her with " a princess cut solitaire diamond surrounded by pave set diamonds. I don't ever want to take it off!"

The couple are planning to wed later this year.

No one wants her wedding ruined by hordes of airborne paparazzi; most of us, of course, won't have to worry about this, but if you're a big star, finding a quiet corner in which to say I DO can be a big hassle.

Now imagine being Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DiRossi. How much media attention do you think THAT wedding will get? Right.

Fortunately, Ellen seems to have found the perfect spot for their nuptials: she's asked to borrow the Bush family ranch in Crawford, Texas. Newlywed Jenna Bush Hagar and her mother, First Lady Laura Bush, taped an appearance on DeGerenes' talk show last week (episode will air next Wednesday) and Ellen asked about getting married in Crawford. "So, can we borrow it for our wedding," DeGeneres asked Jenna. "Can we get the ranch?"

The newlywed laughed and said, "Sure!"

DeGeneres has also asked Presidential candidate John McCain to give her away, but he was a little more evasive than the new Mrs. Hagar. But we hope he will take her up on the offer -- imagine what that would do for his polling with Democrats!

You know by now that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon tied the knot in a small beach ceremony in the Bahamas (attended by more hair dressers than guests). You may also know that they got celebratory tattoos (his: a gigantic MARIAH across his back, hers: a small butterfly with the letters "MC"). But did you know that they are planning ANOTHER wedding? A big one this time, rumored to cost upwards of $4 million.

Of course, $2 million of that came from People magazine's purchase of the photos of the FIRST wedding. Not a bad way to pay the bills, really.

So what does four mil get you in wedding terms? A lot of guests, for starters: a source told MSNBC that Carey "wants over 2,000 guests and the budget will be well over $4 million and she'll have at least 14 bridesmaids." The source added, "It's going to be held in New York City in the next six weeks. Picture a wedding on the scale of Liza Minnelli's (to David Gest) and you'll be on the right track."

Oh, we're picturing it all right. And we will bring YOU the pictures, as soon as there are any. Stay tuned.

Former (current? recent?) Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is engaged, to backup dancer Ivan "Flip" Velez, and apparently she couldn't be happier. Halliwell, who has a two-year-old daughter, Bluebell Madonna (seriously, where do celebrities get these NAMES?!?) is reported to be head-over-ears in love.

The couple, who met on the Spice Girls recent ill-fated reunion tour, are planning a September wedding. Friends say that while the affair has progressed at light speed, they are confident that this is the Real Thing. "Geri has a huge diamond and an even bigger grin on her face now that she and Ivan are marrying. It's been a whirlwind affair but when you know, you know and she doesn't care if she's criticised for being hasty. Her daughter loves Ivan and that's the only opinion she cares about."

That's nice to hear. We wish the couple all the best.

Yesterday's California Supreme Court ruling lifting the state's ban on gay marriages has changed the lives of gay and lesibian couples across the state, among them talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and her partner, actress Portia DiRossi: now the couple, who have been together since 2004, can legally marry.

And that's exactly what they're planning to do.

DeGeneres told the audience at yesterday's taping of her show that she and DiRossi are looking forward to tying the knot. DeGeneres choked up when she talked about it, saying, "If I'm this emotional now just saying it, I can't imagine how that's [getting married] going to be. It's something that we've wanted to do, that we've wanted to be legal, and we're just very very excited." DiRossi, who was in the audience, also appeared to be weeping just a bit. And really who can blame her?

You can see the video at Cele|bitchy. And congratulations to Ellen and Portia! This has been a long time coming and we wish them all the best.

Rumor has it that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are getting married this weekend, in a super-secret ceremony that is SO super-secret that not even the guests know what's going on. The Daily News is reporting that "Friends and family received cryptic Evites (classy!) telling them to book hotel rooms in the L.A. area, and that they'll be picked up by private cars. One warning: Cell phones and cameras are strictly forbidden."

Why forbid photos? Because Ashlee's father, Joe, is reportedly wheeling and dealing with the media, trying to secure a seven-figure deal for the rights to the wedding coverage. Aww, he's looking out for his little girl! Yeah, let's just go with that, shall we?

Simpson's sister Jessica will be hosting the rehearsal dinner at her house (no word on the status of cameras for the guests at that fuction). For the wedding, Ashlee will reportedly be wearing a Vera Wang gown, and while we're not in favor of selling off the rights to your child's wedding to the National Inquirer, we hope there will be some good photos of the dress, at the least.

And we're still waiting for OUR Evite. Ahem.

We have to say, up front, that we love Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal -- they're just so cute! and charming! and nice looking! As in, they look like such nice people. And they're both pretty attractive, too.

Now we're hearing rumors that Jake may be getting ready to pop The Question, and we couldn't be happier. Friends of the couple told OK! magazine that Jake and Reese have "been talking marriage for a while. They'll be formally engaged any day now. They want to spend the rest of their lives together." The same friend has said that the couple are both fairly traditional and conservative, and that they won't live together until they are married.

We find that kind of charming, actually. Now we're just waiting to hear that they're ready to get married.

Every couple wants their wedding to be personal -- a reflection of their tastes and interests and passions. But sometimes getting what you want can be difficult when the market is geared toward giving you what everyone else wants (or what a marketing expert THINKS everyone else wants).

This week is exquisitely handmade week at AisleDash; we'll bring you suggestions and how-tos for various wedding projects, as well as information about how to find vendors and artisans who can create one-of-a-kind pieces to make your special day even more special. Because we understand that your wedding should be personal and beautiful, and having things that have been hand-crafted just for you is one way to do that.

And don't forget to check our DIY category for even more ideas of how to make your wedding truly personal!