
Most of the stories we hear about
terrible in-laws concern the dreaded mother-in-law. What is it about moms when their children marry? Don't get us wrong -- there are many wonderful, kind moms who welcome their children's spouses with open arms. But what about those who don't?
One of the hardest mother-in-laws to deal with is the critical mom. Nothing you do is right. Your choices for the caterer, dress, photographer, and venue are all wrong. So how do you handle it?
Take a deep breath. Most of the time, it's really not about you. She wants to help or thinks that her experience can be helpful. If she makes suggestions for a florist or caterer, she isn't necessarily criticizing your choices. She may just want to contribute, even if it's just an idea or two.
If she really wants to help, let her. Find a small piece of the ceremony that you can let go of. Let her plan it, or at least let her assist. Most moms just want their kids to be happy, and by offering to help she just wants to contribute to that happiness.
What you view as a critical attitude may not be that way at all. Think about why her suggestions bother you. Remember that deep breath? It's your friend when you feel pressured.
And if she really is being critical of you, laugh it off. So she's a control freak, or no one is good enough for her son. So what? He's marrying you, right? Find a way to see the humor in it and your stress will be a lot lower throughout your marriage. Enlist his help in deflecting her criticisms. And if he won't defend you, maybe you need to take a long, hard look at your relationship before you walk down the aisle. Because if you don't get along with your mother-in-law now, what makes you think you'll be able to after the ceremony? Or for the next 20, 30, 40 years?
Many bad mother-in-law stories are exaggerated for comedic effect. Don't let that make you dread meeting your mother-in-law. Chances are you'll have a decent relationship with her. While you may not have your new best friend, you will find someone who just wants the two of you to be happy. We all need more people in our lives who want the best for us.
Photo by Jonas B used under Creative Commons license.