Summer Budget Travel Tips from Gadling
For most brides, the wedding dress is hugely sentimental -- even though you will probably never wear it again. So instead of just keeping it in the back of your closet, why not do something with it?

Here are some suggestions we've collected from brides and wedding professionals:
  • Use the skirt to make a bassinet lining for your future children.
  • Use the material in a wedding quilt.
  • Use the fabric in a christening gown for your children
  • Make handkerchiefs from the gown fabric, and have your monogram and wedding date stitched in.
  • Make decorative pillows for your home from your gown fabric.
  • Use the fabric to make smaller accessories like headbands, garters, and purses that you can pass down to your future daughters to use in their weddings, or give to your friends for theirs.
Of course, all of these ideas require cutting up your gown. If you can't bear that idea, there's really nothing wrong with storing it in your closet in hopes that maybe one day your future daughters will want to wear it when they walk down the aisle. But before you get your hopes up too much, just remember how we feel about the fashions of decades past.

Then again, there's always Halloween...

Would you be willing to destroy your wedding gown in order to make a more useful keepsake?

When you get married, changing your name is not as simple as telling people "Call me Mrs. Smith now." You need to change all your identification, your bills and credit cards, your bank accounts, etc. And guess what? All of these things requires a different set of forms and a different process. Fantastic.

MissNowMrs is an online name-changing service that guides you through the different papers and procedures for legally changing your name. It's much like using computer software to do your taxes. You'll still have to print out the forms and deliver them in person to most places, but the service provides you with all you need to know to do that. This service costs $29.95, but some bridal shops give out coupons to make it free when you buy your dress there.

BrideLaw is a similar service. It is free and will help you with the forms for all the government-related name change requirements.
meeting roomDoesn't sound very romantic, does it?

But then, much of marriage isn't particularly romantic. Leaky basements, colicky babies and demanding in-laws are not romantic. Nor are stressful jobs and money worries, but things like this will undoubtedly be part of your future together. None of that is nearly as much fun to think about as the wedding, however, which is why "many people spend more time planning their wedding day than the remainder of their married life", says Dyan Cross, co-author (along with Dr. Marilyn Daryawish) of the book Marriage is a Business.

Continue reading Marriage as a "Venture Partnership"

Plan, plan, and plan some more. Weddings take a lot of planning. But of course, a wedding is a day -- a marriage is the rest of your life. Since you're in planning mode anyway, why not look a bit beyond the wedding? Do you know where you'll be living after the Big Day? If you plan on having children, would that change your choice of location?

What factors do you consider when you move with a family? Forbes has compiled a list of 20 family-friendly counties in America, based on how well they score on ten different factors, including high school graduation rate, SAT scores, crime rate, pollution index, and length of commute.

You won't be too restricted in your choice: Just about every part of the country is represented. There are counties in states from California to New Hampshire, Wisconsin to Texas. The winner? Hamilton County, Indiana, with high scores on nine of ten scales.

Exercising together, as a couple, has multiple payoffs for your relationship. First, it makes you both more accountable to the work out routine. If your mate is there counting on you and encouraging you, you're less likely to skip out. Second, it helps you balance your fitness training. Since most women prefer cardio exercise and most men prefer strength training, working out together helps you both get the balance you need for optimum health. Also, working out with a partner is healthier because you have someone to spot you or help you when needed. Finally, it helps bring you closer. Couples find that especially work outs like yoga or pilates help bring them eye-to-eye in a relaxing atmosphere – and this builds intimacy even outside the gym.

If you do decide to work on a mutual fitness program, keep compromise top-of-mind for success. Choose a time, place and activity that works for both of you, or take turns with your favorite activity. Don't turn work outs into a competition. It's about getting healthy and getting closer together, even if you can run a whole mile further. Finally, make togetherness the priority by blowing off the hard-sweat work out and taking a walk through the park or relaxing bike ride once in while. This will keep the fun factor high and boredom at bay.

According to David Bach, Redbook Marriage Institute expert and author of Smart Couples Finish Rich, debt is one of the biggest factors driving couples to divorce court (which certainly doesn't make the financial picture any clearer). Here are the common mistakes he says to avoid:

The language of love may in fact be international, but there can still be miscommunication, because people tend to express their love in different ways. Have you ever gone to all lengths to cook a romantic meal for your partner, complete with pretty plates and candles, only to have him gobble it down and go turn on the TV just like any other night? When your romantic gestures seem to go unnoticed, you're not speaking in your partner's love dialect. That's where Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages comes in handy to help us understand how to communicate love to our partner. Chapman breaks it down into five main love languages.
1. Quality time – To those who speak this language, making the commitment to spend time together speaks volumes.
2. Receiving gifts – These people aren't petty or materialistic, they just feel the most loved when they get unexpected little notes or trinkets that say "I love you."
3. Acts of service – This language basically boils down to helping out around the house, but it's important to know which tasks are most meaningful to the other person (i.e. don't clean up the garage when the toilets need scrubbed inside).
4. Word of affirmation – People who speak this language love small, spoken expressions of affection, "I just love the way you make an ordinary dinner special," or "You look so nice in that dress."
5. Physical touch – Just as it sounds, this language is all about expressing love through touch.
If you and your partner often miss the mark and put your efforts into the wrong things, it's worth investigating love languages to learn what really makes you each feel loved.

Monograms are a classic way to "brand" yourselves as a couple. Whether you use your monogram in your wedding or incorporate it into your home, it's fun because it's uniquely yours ... in a really, really traditional way.

Fortunately, for those of us who like the idea of a monogram but are interested in finding a more modern take on it, there is Echo D'Amour. Atlanta-based designer Chad Rullman creates jewelry based on "the beauty of symmetry," creating a mirror image (or echo) pendant. They are created in 18k gold or platinum and weigh in at 2.5 to 5 carats of ideal-cut colorless diamonds.

One of the things that make these pendants so very cool is that you can make yours out of any combination of letters or numbers. Want to use your wedding date? One initial? Four initials? No problem -- each Echo D'Amour piece is customized to your requirements, style, and budget. These are the kinds of pieces that will become a family heirloom -- you can't tell at first sight that they are monograms, so you'll always have a one-of-a-kind conversation starter!

Gallery: Echo D'Amour

Echo D'AmourEcho D'AmourEcho D'AmourEcho D'AmourEcho D'Amour


He loves football, she hates it. She loves remodeling, while choosing paint samples makes him break out in hives. He's a gourmet cook, she would happily live on Kraft dinner and peas. How do you manage your differences? Is there strength in diversity, or will your differences tear you apart?

Arnold Schwarzenegger is (surprise!!) a staunch Republican. His wife, Maria Shriver, is a life-long Democrat. One of their four children is old enough to vote; she favors Mr. Obama. They couple is very open about their political preferences, right down to opposing (but numerically equal) lawn signs. In past elections, Ms. Shriver has even brought home a life-size cutout of her preferred candidate -- and of course her husband reciprocated with a cutout of his own!

How do they manage their open and obvious political differences?

Continue reading Managing your differences, California style

The name-change dilemma can be one of the most stressful things you deal with when you get married. You start mixing middle names, last names, hyphenated names in a last ditch attempt to not leave any important names off the family tree. Now maybe you're pulling your hair out. Here are some brides discussing the pros and cons of each different option and some things to consider when thinking about your name.

1. Will sharing your husband's name make you feel like a more unified couple and/or family? To some couples it's important to share one name, and these days it can be yours or his. To others, family is not about names and it's more important to hold on to a part of your identity that represents who you were before and outside of marriage.
2. Do you like your name (and does he like his)? Some names are cumbersome and difficult, which can either make them all the more endearing or all the more frustrating. Consider whether you've always felt neutral (or worse) about your name or if it's a unique part of what makes you yourself.
3. Do logistics get you down? Let's face it. Although even the most remote and backward communities are starting to get used to members of one family having more than one name, most forms you'll have to fill out were created way back in the one-name era and don't really suit the multiple name scenario. Until the form-makers get up-to-date you'll have to get creative. Your mail will be addressed in funny ways and people will constantly get your name wrong. Think about whether you can laugh this off or if it will send you yet again to the medicine cabinet for another aspirin.

put out?

A couple of couples, marrieds of long-standing, have written books about how they fulfilled their pledges to indulge in daily sex for a set amount of time.

Yes, yes, you newly-weds take this pretty much for granted. (We can hear you from here: "What? Only once a day?") But we all know that with careers and social lives and leisure activities and business travel ... and later, with kids, and just all-round stress, sexual activity drops off. There's no drop off in love, mind you, only logistics and energy. When do you find the time? And if you have the time, sometimes you'd rather just sleeeeep...

These couples both noticed the drop in their love lives, however, and rather than accept it as normal, they decided to do something about it. They made the time, they made it happen. Every. Single. Day. One couple did it for 101 days, the other for a full 365. Want to know if their experiment made a difference in their marriages? Read the article, then check out the books!

Usher is having a hard time being a faithful husband. His marriage to Tameka Foster has been plagued by insults and rumors from the start, prompting him to go just a little crazy on a recent TRL appearance, but he's now speaking out in a more subdued manner about his wandering eye.

He told Cosmo, "I'm good at making love, but I'm not good at being in love. It's a conscious decision every day to love the person you're with."

We couldn't disagree more. While we appreciate the fact that he's trying hard to stay faithful after making a commitment, love shouldn't be a decision -- and if it is, it's a big problem. We get it -- he's Usher, and he's surrounded much of the time by gorgeous women who are throwing themselves at him, which has to be hard to ignore. But, that being the case, if he's having to wake up in the morning and choose to be in love with his wife, we don't give this marriage much time at all.
After more than seven years, one bomb of a movie, and countless break-up rumors, it looks like Madonna and Guy Ritchie might just be calling it quits. Holy Moly reports that Madonna has hired Nicholas Mostyn, Britain's leading divorce attorney who represented Paul McCartney in his divorce from Heather Mills.

Holy Moly's sources claim the reason for the split is nothing more than "growing apart," which is understandable considering the couple's crazy work schedules, especially now with Madge's new album and tour in addition to the negative media attention the adoption of David Banta has caused.

The couple doesn't appear to have a prenuptial agreement, possibly because pre-nups don't have the legal standing in the UK that they do in the U.S. However, this means Guy could possibly walk away with half of Madonna's considerable fortune (Forbes reports that she earned $72 million last year alone).


That's a funky piece of abstract art in that picture, isn't it? Want to get yourself one just like it?

Well, you can't. Not just like it, because that, my friends, is a truly unique piece. One-of-a-kind in the truest sense of the word, because what you're seeing is an artistic rendering of segments of the owner's DNA.

Still interested? It's not too difficult to do, and what a great conversation piece it would make for your new home! We're not sure someone could surprise you with one, though, as it requires a teeny smidge of cell samples from inside your mouth... (Cheek cells! Very easy, totally painless to gather.)

Go to the site, choose your color and size, then, when your kit arrives in the mail, send off your samples. That's all you have to do, to get your very own, very modern, very personal piece of art.

For more information on the DNA art, follow this link.
Marriage therapist Mira Kirshenbaum has a controversial theory about affairs: an affair, she says, is not necessarily the death knell for a marriage. Instead, it can be the spark that saves the relationship.

Kirshenbaum's assertion comes with quite a few qualifiers, though: the affair has to be the "right kind," for one thing, one that is pursued for love rather than as a conquest, and the cheating spouse must NEVER confess to the adultery, because it is the revelation of the truth that does the real harm. In a new book released this week, When Good People Have Affairs, she asserts that one approach to an affair is to "think of it as a radical but necessary medical procedure. If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator."

Her point, it seems, is that under the right circumstances, an affair can jolt a person back into a marriage, rather than destroying the marriage. And while many of her Kirshenbaum's peers disagree that the affair itself may be theraputic, they agree that an affair can indeed be a sign of other issues in a relationship. Says Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists, "Maybe this book goes too far, but we do need to take a sociological view of affairs. To think, 'what are we going to do about them?' rather than to say 'it can't happen', when it clearly does."

I find it hard to agree with Ms. Kirshenbaum, if only because I agree with part of what she argues: I think that an affair often is a sign of issues with a marriage, but I am resistant to the idea that the affair can save that marriage ONLY if it is kept a secret. But I have also never been down that road, so I am only speculating.

What say you -- could an affair be good for a marriage? Or is it always the end?

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