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Reception menu planning - Five things to consider

Ilona Peltz — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Cakes and Catering, Budget Advice, Do-It-Yourself

From the ever-helpful people at The Kitchen comes this list of five important considerations when planning your reception menu. Whether you're doing it yourself, or planning with a caterer, whether you're having a dessert buffet or a sit-down, three-course dinner, these factors will apply.

1. Seasonality. Foods that are in season are less expensive and easier to find. Seasonal dishes make sense to your guests, too: people prefer lighter fare in hot weather, comfort food in cold.

2. Variety. Even if you're having a dessert buffet, as are the writers at The Kitchen, you can still provide variety in taste, texture, temperature, and color. With a less focused menu comes opportunity for even greater variety.

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Engraved money clip for the father of the bride

Ilona Peltz — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice, Gifts and Registries, Grooms

Money clip are one of those gifts that show up all the time on websites and in catalogues aimed at bridal couples. Looking for a gift for the men? How about a personalized golf ball, a silver flask, or a money clip? They're everywhere.

What this gift idea may lack in originality, it makes up for with its saying. It's a nice reminder, that the truly important, really valuable things in life cost nothing -- the love you share, for example. A sweet, romantic notion for the groom. For the father of the bride, who may be getting a little dizzy at how quickly his bank balance is receding, it might be just more than a little ironic. Could be the poor man will soon be thinking that the only things he ever will own from now on will be the ones that don't cost money.

Will you give it to him? Probably depends on his sense of humor ...

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WeddingWise: Save money with a potluck reception

Meg Massie — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:00:00 EST

Filed under: Cakes and Catering, Invitations, Budget Advice, Gifts and Registries, Receptions

Your eyes keep shifting between your budget spreadsheet and your potential guest list. You love your friends and family -- all 250 of them -- but at 35 bucks a head for dinner, you can't afford to invite them all. You could save thousands of dollars by cutting your guest list in half, but how do you decide who makes and who misses the cut? This part of wedding planning is no fun.

So here's an idea: instead of an expensive, fancy feast that blows your whole wedding budget, ask your guests to bring a dish to share instead of a gift. Provide guests who travel or guests who simply don't cook with a list of pre-made items that can be bought at your local grocery store, and appoint someone to field all the phone calls about what to bring. Sure there will be some repeats, but with several dozen guests, you'll surely get a nice variety for your buffet.

Make sure your invitations are clear about this. "In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom request that you bring your favorite dish to serve at our reception buffet. Call Mandy, the Maid of Honor, at 555-5555 with questions." Then you can take the money you saved on food and buy your own wedding gifts, so you get exactly what you need and want. Encourage guests to include the recipe with the dish they bring, so that you can create a wedding cookbook. You can even post the recipes online to share with all the guests.

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Three tips to save you money

Ilona Peltz — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice

Just about everyone wants to save money where they can on the wedding. These events can quickly get out of hand, so we're glad to see any cost-cutting tips we can. Ms. Hamilton at Etiquette Hell has a few ideas we thought we'd share with you.

1. Reduce the number of attendants. Is it really necessary to have eight, or even five? Yes, you love your friends, but there are other ways to involve them than to insist they wear the dress (or suit) and precede you down the aisle. Besides, being in a wedding party can be costly and time-consuming. You might be surprised at how many of them are not just not insulted, but positively relieved to know you won't be asking them.

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Could you cater your own wedding?

Ilona Peltz — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Cakes and Catering, Budget Advice, Do-It-Yourself, Receptions

We confess to being just a little dubious about this. We can see the temptation, however. Receptions eat up (no pun intended) a huge percentage of your wedding costs. If you're working with a very tight budget, those costs may well be something you'd like to reduce. Is it realistic to self-cater?

It would depend a lot on the size and formality of the wedding, of course. Catering your own formal sit-down four-course banquet for 300 guests? We can't imagine how you'd manage that. A simple cold buffet for 30? That could be do-able.

The trick is liable to be in spreading out the work. Most people have family or friends who love to cook. Maybe you could organize a reception pot-luck for your casual wedding. In that case, you're likely not going to be doing much of the food preparation yourselves, but instead be organizing the people who will be bringing the food. What do you think? Could the couple organize their own catering, or is this one wedding task that really should be left to the professionals?

View Poll

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Make your own veil

Ilona Peltz — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Budget Advice, Do-It-Yourself

If you have ten thumbs, please buy your veil. However, if you only have eight, you might just consider making your own, because veils are not difficult. If you have the usual two thumbs and eight fingers, it shouldn't be difficult at all.

The easiest fabric to use is tulle, also called "bridal illusion". It's lightweight, it doesn't slither around as much as other veil fabrics (though it is slippery), and, unlike organza or chiffon, tulle doesn't need to be hemmed. (You certainly may put an edging on it if you like, but it won't fray if you don't.)

First you'll choose the length you want: face (also called birdcage), shoulder (also called blusher), fingertip, waist, chapel (just to the floor), and cathedral (which trails behind you). Then you decide on the fullness you prefer.

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Don't get exposed at your wedding

Becky Scott — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Negotiating Speed Bumps, Budget Advice, Ceremonies

Picture your wedding for a moment. You and your groom, standing in front of friends and family, repeating heartfelt vows to each other. Suddenly, the back of your dress drops out and you're exposed for the whole audience to see. Sounds like a bridal nightmare doesn't it?

That exact scenario happened to an Italian bride, and now she's suing the dress designer. Her $4,000 dress fell apart, embarrassing her in front of everyone she knew. The suit she's bringing includes moral and financial damages, totaling almost $40,000.

Are you getting a dress made for your wedding? Here's how you can avoid a scene like that.

Get recommendations. Find out who else has used your seamstress. Ask for references and see if they were happy with the end product.
Watch out for cheap products. If the price is too-good-to-be-true, it probably is. You want affordable, not cheap. A cheap dress with shoddy workmanship can only spell trouble.
Examine prior work. Ask to see some of the work they've done previously. Look closely at the stitching, especially in stress areas. Give the seams a light tug (don't yank the item, just give a gentle pull). Are the seams and stitching nice and snug? Is the stitching neat and tidy? Attention to detail means your seamstress takes pride in her work.
Get a final fitting. Make sure you get that final fitting on your dress and look closely at the work. It should be pretty obvious if something's not right, like such poor stitching that the back of the dress could fall out!

We're not really sure how the bride didn't notice such poor work that her dress fell apart. But with some simple precautions on your part, you should be able to avoid the same fate and truly enjoy your day.

Image: copyright Becky Scott

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What is a comfort fit wedding band?

Meg Massie — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Rings, Budget Advice

When you shop for wedding bands, you'll be asked lots of questions about what you're looking for. One question will probably be, "Do you want comfort fit or regular fit?" Do you know the difference?

Comfort fit bands are designed with a rounded inside so they slide on easier and sit on your finger more comfortably, as the name suggests. There are degrees of comfort fit, as well. "Light comfort fit" may only be very slightly rounded on the inside, "heavy comfort fit" will be a very thick (from inside to outside) band, and then the regular comfort fit is somewhere in between.

Comfort fit, or internally round, bands are definitely more comfortable for people who have to frequently remove their rings, and for people who are not used to wearing rings, so they are especially popular among men. Because comfort fit rings are thicker from inside to out, they have more metal content than standard rings and may be much more expensive. Regular "half-round" rings don't have the luxurious feel of a comfort fit band, but the truth is that once the ring is on your finger, you don't feel much of a difference.

No matter what you're wearing, if it's on your finger for the rest of your life, eventually you get used to it. It's up to you to decide if the extra cost of a comfort fit band is worth it to you.

Gallery: Comfort Fit Wedding Bands

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Ask AisleDash: Gas prices and wedding planning

Meg Massie — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Budget Advice

Dear AisleDash,

My best friend and my mom and pretty much anyone who would help me plan my wedding live two hours away. I don't mind the drive, but gas prices are making the trip way too expensive, and I'm worried that I won't be able to do any of my planning with them. I'm having the wedding here, so it's not like I have to drive there to do the planning, I just want them to be involved, and I know they don't always want to drive out here to help me. Gas is expensive for them, too. I just don't want to be on my own for all my wedding stuff. I'm not good at this! What should I do?

~P.

Dear P,

I'll bet this is a problem lots of brides are facing right now. In fact, pretty much everyone in the country has been forced to adjust their travel habits. I think it's safe to say that we can all sympathize. I don't have some magic solution that will get you two hours away without burning any fuel, unless you've considered becoming a marathon cyclist. So you are going to have to do more of your planning without the help of your mother and best friend, but that doesn't mean you have to be on your own.

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Green wedding dresses. And by green, we mean the color green.

Roxanna Sarmiento — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 08:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Alternative Weddings, Budget Advice

Aisledash reader Erin sent us the following email:

I'm looking for a green wedding dress. No, not that one, the color. Got any leads?

How could we resist? As much as we love traditional gowns (and we do) we also have a soft spot in our heart for the unconventional bride - and whether you wish to marry in green (as Erin does) or magenta or pink-and-green polka dots we're here to help you too.

The key to buying a green wedding dress is to remember that a wedding dress is, first and foremost, a dress. That means that you should expand your search outside of the traditional wedding vendors. (Come to think of it, that's excellent advice even if you want to marry in white.) Try a website that allows you to search by color (like Nordstrom or Bluefly) and be open to the many possibilities out there.

Another option is to look at bridesmaids dresses - many times they're the same thing as the wedding dress, just in color. We like the ones by simple silhouettes and David's Bridal, but honestly, your choices are endless.

Of course, you could also search for prom dresses, but we find that the dresses tend to be of lower quality and a bit too revealing. (Are we showing our age here?)

So remember: It's only a dress! Be creative and keep an open mind.

We'd love to hear more about your "green" wedding, Erin - keep us posted!

Gallery: "Green" wedding gowns

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Cut costs with a fake cake

Meg Massie — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 09:00:00 EST

Filed under: Cakes and Catering, Budget Advice

According to the Bridal Association of America, the average wedding cake costs almost $550. Most bakers charge by the slice, at about $5 or $6 per slice for a standard multi-tiered cake. Premium cakes may cost twice that much, or more -- more than you'd pay for original artwork, and you're only going to have it on display for an hour or two. Wow.

One way to save costs is to cut the cake right out of the budget. But who wants to do away with such a delicious tradition? More and more couples are pulling a sneaky bait and switch when it comes to their cakes -- using a fake cake for the display, usually made of styrofoam, and serving guests from a sheet cake they keep hidden in the back, which may cost less than a dollar per serving. Guests never have to know.

You can get special "cakes" designed just for this ruse, which come with a small concealed compartment where you can hide a real piece of cake for the traditional cake cutting ceremony. It sounds a little silly, but you'll get the last laugh when you don't have to write a three- or four-digit check to your bakery.

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Couple plans to pay for wedding by recycling

Kristen Seymour — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice

What's the craziest thing you did to save or raise money for your wedding? Did you stop buying your daily $4 latte? Go out to eat a little bit less? How about turning in your bottles and cans to be recycled for a little extra cash?

Massachusetts couple Michael Ramos and Suzanne Raposo are taking the latter suggestion to an extreme. Their dream wedding will cost them around $30,000 next year, and they're hoping to pay for a good portion of that with money they've earned by recycling pop cans (in Massachusetts, you earn five cents for each one).

Continue reading Couple plans to pay for wedding by recycling

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Father of the bride: More than just a wallet

Ilona Peltz — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 14:01:00 EST

Filed under: Relationships, Budget Advice

Let's face it: a lot of men are on the outside of the wedding planning. Even today, a wedding is the largely bride's show, with her bridesmaids and her mother as her supporting players and the groom a handsome accessory. A generation ago, when her father was getting married, this was likely even more the case. So what does dad remember of the planning? Probably not a whole lot.

Yet many brides (though certainly not all) will be expecting dad to ante up considerable chunks of money for her Big Day. So where are the books, magazines, and general all-round support for dad?

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Budget 201: What the guests spend

Ilona Peltz — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice

As you plan your wedding, and particularly when you plan your reception, your guests can start to feel more like financial obligations than friends-and-family. How many plates can you afford, how much free alcohol can you provide, will you go for the larger venue (at greater cost) or trim the guest list and take the less-expensive option?

Ka-ching! And then, after all that trouble, they're telling you they can't afford to come?? It can feel like a real slap in the face. In fact, attending a wedding can be an expensive proposition. One study in the UK found that the average guest spends about £300 (roughly $600) on food, drink, accommodation, clothes, and gift. Which is a chunk of change, you have to admit. Slightly under a third of this total is the gift.

And for those of you who weren't sure about inviting all your parents' friends? People over 50 tend to spend almost double the average. Not that we'd encourage you to judge your guests' value by the depth of their wallets. That would be crass.

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Ask AisleDash: Paying for parking at the venue

Meg Massie — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Invitations, Budget Advice, Etiquette

Dear AisleDash,

I just found out that our reception venue charges for parking. It's only a few bucks per car, but I had no idea when I booked the place! Am I supposed to pay for all my guests to park? If not, how do I tell them? What's the etiquette here?

~Urban Bride

Dear Urban,

You do not necessarily have to pay for all of your guests to park, but it would be a very nice thing for you to do. You do have to tell them in advance, so that they're not "hit with surprise charges," as they say. The best way for you to do this is to include an insert with your invitations explaining the charge for parking, and also mapping the area to point out the nearest free parking.

If your invitations have already gone out, it seems to me that you will have to just pay for everyone's parking at this point, because there is no proper way to spring this on guests now. Many of them won't bring cash with them to your ceremony and will be in a bind when they get to your reception venue if there is a charge they aren't prepared for.

Alternatively, have you considered hiring a wedding shuttle? If everyone is staying in the same hotel, a shuttle to the ceremony and reception sites and back can be a very nice way to tackle this problem. With a shuttle available, if people still choose to drive themselves, then the burden of parking fees is on them, not you.

Do you have a question for Ask AisleDash? Use the Contact AisleDash link at the top of the page, or leave it in the comments section. And be sure to look for our answers every Thursday.

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And the bridesmaid title goes to...the highest bidder

Caroline Humphreys — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice

Is there no end to what can be auctioned? Kelly Gray, a Virginia bride, is auctioning off the opportunity to be one of her bridesmaids. Why would somebody do this? To help offset some of the wedding costs. Gray and her fiancé together make barely enough to get by supporting a 1-year-old baby. They really do not have the means to save up for a wedding and are looking for every possible way to stretch a dollar. With everything under the sun already up for auction on eBay, Gray thought why not a bridesmaid? As of June 24th, the bid was up to $1625.00.

Update: As of 10:45 EST, the bid was up to $4250.00 with eight hours left for the auction.

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My Small Wedding: Family spread far and wide

Meg Massie — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice, Ceremonies, Green Weddings, Eloping

My family is from Virginia. His is from Oregon. Both of our families are huge. Getting everyone together for a wedding would have been a huge expense for everyone involved. At least half of our potential guest list would be facing a cross country trip, and then we'd be facing the bill to host them all. Oof.

So we eloped.

The cost of traveling is a huge concern these days, and you should consider how much you're asking of people when you invite them to a wedding hundreds of miles from home. If your guests share my family's mentality that weddings are mandatory, then you might actually be doing them a favor by trimming the guest list. You don't have to elope, but keeping a wedding small and intimate will save money across the board, not to mention the environmental impact of all that travel.

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A wedding at home could blow your budget

Caroline Humphreys — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice

Thinking of saving money by having a relatively small wedding at home? Don't overlook the potential hidden costs of home weddings. First, when you hold your wedding and reception in a more public venue, they probably already have the tables and chairs you need for your guests. At home, you will need to factor in the rental price of these items.

Second, event professionals say that most homes don't have enough bathrooms to keep guest traffic flowing the way it needs to, and there's only so much toilet paper a residential sewage system can take in a short amount of time. To avoid any sticky situations, many professionals recommend renting extra toilets. Plan enough money for nice ones so your guests don't have to cram into the typical tiny and stinky ones.

Finally, if the wedding will be outside, there are additional costs you may have. If there's any chance for rain, plan on tent rental expenses, including any necessary permits. Also, weddings take a heavy toll on landscaping, particularly lawns where tents block the sunlight for several days and the weight of all those guests compacts the ground, injuring and even killing the lawn. Make sure the homeowner knows of this potential outcome and plan on the cost of aerating the ground, adding extra mulch around trees to protect them, and replacing any lost greenery after the event.

Once people know the surprising costs of a home wedding, many choose to look for another location. But if a home setting is the one you're dreaming of, plan ahead for these costs.

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Let the destination trim your guest list

Jennifer Canzoneri — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Destination Ceremonies, Negotiating Speed Bumps, Relationships, Invitations, Budget Advice, Etiquette, Receptions, Ceremonies

One of the greatest stresses for any bride and groom is the matter of the guest list -- who to invite, who to leave off and who to constantly bump heads over. Capping the guest list is a wise financial choice as the headcount dictates the cost of many things. Just a few examples: most venues charge you for dinner (either sit-down or buffet) by the headcount, the cake is quoted to you by the headcount, the favors, the save-the-date cards and the invitations are all ordered with the headcount in mind. If you keep your guest list to a set amount, the costs will be cut across the board. It makes logical sense, but that doesn't make it any easier.

You want to invite everyone in your mutual address books, and sometimes just the families alone can add up to 50+ people. How do you make the hard decisions over who to include and who to, well, exclude?

Continue reading Let the destination trim your guest list

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Inspiration board: White wedding

Roxanna Sarmiento — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Cakes and Catering, Invitations, Budget Advice, Flowers, Favors, Bridal Beauty, Theme weddings, Inspiration Boards

A white wedding can be so many things - ethereal and innocent or crisp and oh-so-chic - it's a wedding theme beloved by both traditionalists and edgy modernists because it can be anything you want it to be.

Of course, most weddings have at least one major player dressed all in white: The bride! From the white dress to her dazzling smile, a bride in white is a very special and lovely sight. Imagine the impact of an all-white event!

Continue reading Inspiration board: White wedding

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