AisleDash

Ask AisleDash: Ceremony vs. eloping

Meg Massie — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Relationships, Ceremonies, Eloping

Dear AisleDash,

My aunt's fiance wants to elope. He wants their wedding to be just him, my aunt, and her 14-year-old daughter, and then they will make a family announcement after the fact. My aunt and cousin don't want that, though. My aunt has never been married and she wants a small wedding, and my cousin doesn't want her mom to elope, either. She's waited a long time to find the right person and my cousin and I have agreed she deserves at least a small wedding. We are slowly convincing him. Any advice?

~R.

Dear R.,

No one should force their significant other into anything they really don't want. That means that your aunt's fiance shouldn't force her into giving up her wedding, but it also means she (and you and your cousin) shouldn't force him into participating in a wedding he's really against. This shouldn't be a deal-breaker; people that are right for each other are able to talk things over and reach acceptable compromises.

It sounds like that's what's going on now -- you say you are slowly convincing him. The key is to present your argument for a wedding without twisting his arm or begging him to do something he's not interested in. Instead, show him how the small wedding you and your aunt and cousin want doesn't have to be that different from an elopement. Some people can't help but think of giant spectacles when they think of weddings, so your aunt will need to assure him that what she wants is not at all the giant ordeal he's afraid of.

Continue reading Ask AisleDash: Ceremony vs. eloping

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Wedding by the numbers

Ilona Peltz — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:00:00 EST

Filed under: Relationships, Engagement, Ceremonies

Weddingbells, a Canadian wedding magazine, invited its readers to share some stats about their wedding. Fifteen hundred of them obliged, resulting in the following facts and figures:

The Canadian bride is 29 years old when she gets engaged, and close to three-quarters of all brides-to-be are living with their fiance when he pops the question. Most proposals occur between December and February, with the weddings following up to ten months later, most between July and September.

Close to two-thirds of couples pay for their weddings themselves, and though they thought it would cost them around $17,000, in fact it generally cost something over $25,000. Isn't that always the way?

If you're a Canadian bride, check out the full list of statistics at Wedding Bells, and see how your plans and budget compare!

via: Canada.com

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Inspiration board: DIY wedding

Becky Scott — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:01:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Do-It-Yourself, Flowers, Receptions, Favors, Ceremonies, Inspiration Boards

This week we brought you Do It Yourself (DIY) weddings. One of the great things about doing it yourself is the money you can save. And who else knows what you want better than you do? Here are the things we found for you:

Continue reading Inspiration board: DIY wedding

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Unity candle - a simple DIY wedding project

Meg Massie — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Do-It-Yourself, Ceremonies

Standard unity candles, which are often little more than just a plain white pillar, usually sell for $30 or more. It's not like this is the most expensive part of your wedding, but it is a huge markup nonetheless, especially for an item that you can make yourself, and have a lot of fun doing so.

I first tried candle making at a workshop at a resort where I was vacationing. The class was fun and educational, cost me $20, and I walked away with five candles of my own design -- I'd selected the color, the shape, and the scent of each.

Candle making is not difficult or time consuming, but it is a complicated process. You can find instructions and supplies online, but if you've never tried it before, we recommend starting with a class. Call around to local craft stores and see if any of them offer candle classes, or know where one is available.

Gallery: Unity Candles

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Iced branches for a winter wedding

Ilona Peltz — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:01:00 EST

Filed under: Pre-Ceremony Parties, Do-It-Yourself, Receptions, Ceremonies

Imagine yourself walking down this aisle for your winter wedding. Wouldn't you feel like you were taking a romantic walk through an ice-coated forest? The pale branches glitter with what looks like ice crystals, or even glass, but is in fact plastic -- it will last longer than ice, and cost a whole lot less than crystal!

Given that each branch is coated in the plastic ice crystals, you might fear this would be a very time-consuming and fiddly craft. In fact, assuming you don't paint the branches, each one probably takes no more than 10 minutes to assemble, and is done when the glue dries in an hour! If you wanted to paint the branches to match your color scheme, this would become a two-stage craft: first the painting and then drying, and then, likely the next day, the glue and crystals.

For more samples of plastic crystal crafts, and full instructions on this craft, check out Save-On Crafts.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

WeddingWise: Tips for writing your own vows

Meg Massie — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:00:00 EST

Filed under: Do-It-Yourself, Ceremonies

Writing your own vows probably sounded like a great idea until it was time to actually do it. Thinking of something creative, personal, and appropriate to recite in front of everyone you know can be daunting. Don't let writer's block get you down, though. Once you get going, you only have to write a few sentences. Here goes...

Start with an outline. We like this format: begin with how great your fiance is, then say something about why you're perfect for each other, and wrap it up with a promise for the future.
Remember to be yourself. You are not handing this in for a grade. You don't need to use a thesaurus to find the most sophisticated words. If you don't use your normal tone and vocabulary, it will sound fake, and no one wants fake wedding vows.
Keep it short. Anything longer than 60 seconds will get awkward. If you have more to say, put it in your toast for the rehearsal dinner or reception.

So what words will you actually use? We think a quick story that illustrates your love is a good choice. How about the story of how you felt when you first met, or first realized you were in love? Remember that your family is listening. You are allowed to leave out some details.

Song and movie quotes are fine, but avoid clichés. Instead of something everyone hears all the time, pick a line that's special just to you -- maybe a line from your first date movie, or your song -- something that will make sense to everyone, but will have special meaning to the two of you.

Finally, end with your promises. Sure, you vow to love each other always, but these should be extra personal, too. What promises can you make about your lives together -- now, five years from now, and fifty years down the road? Think about what being married to this person means to you. What are you most excited about? You can use this part of your vows to show that you don't take the little things for granted.

If you're still having trouble, consider working together, and using the same vows. You might find it easier if you help each other -- just because you're not married yet doesn't mean you can't start working as a team now!

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Don't get exposed at your wedding

Becky Scott — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Negotiating Speed Bumps, Budget Advice, Ceremonies

Picture your wedding for a moment. You and your groom, standing in front of friends and family, repeating heartfelt vows to each other. Suddenly, the back of your dress drops out and you're exposed for the whole audience to see. Sounds like a bridal nightmare doesn't it?

That exact scenario happened to an Italian bride, and now she's suing the dress designer. Her $4,000 dress fell apart, embarrassing her in front of everyone she knew. The suit she's bringing includes moral and financial damages, totaling almost $40,000.

Are you getting a dress made for your wedding? Here's how you can avoid a scene like that.

Get recommendations. Find out who else has used your seamstress. Ask for references and see if they were happy with the end product.
Watch out for cheap products. If the price is too-good-to-be-true, it probably is. You want affordable, not cheap. A cheap dress with shoddy workmanship can only spell trouble.
Examine prior work. Ask to see some of the work they've done previously. Look closely at the stitching, especially in stress areas. Give the seams a light tug (don't yank the item, just give a gentle pull). Are the seams and stitching nice and snug? Is the stitching neat and tidy? Attention to detail means your seamstress takes pride in her work.
Get a final fitting. Make sure you get that final fitting on your dress and look closely at the work. It should be pretty obvious if something's not right, like such poor stitching that the back of the dress could fall out!

We're not really sure how the bride didn't notice such poor work that her dress fell apart. But with some simple precautions on your part, you should be able to avoid the same fate and truly enjoy your day.

Image: copyright Becky Scott

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Seven ways to personalize your ceremony

Ilona Peltz — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Do-It-Yourself, Ceremonies

Looking for ways to make the ceremony your own? Even the most traditional of ceremonies has spots for the personal touch. You might write your own vows. You can certainly choose your own readings, either scripture of particular meaning, or a poem, or a meditation written by a creative friend.

For even more ideas, why not ask the officiant? After all, at two or three or four every weekend, he or she could easily have seen hundreds of ceremonies. From the Celebrant USA website come the following suggestions:

1. Share your personal story -- how you met, your proposal, what you appreciate most about each other, whatever is most meaningful to the two of you.

Continue reading Seven ways to personalize your ceremony

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Finding an officiant

Ilona Peltz — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Ceremonies

If you're getting married in your home church by your pastor, the decision of who will preside over the ceremony is a no-brainer. If you're not part of a faith community, nor even your parents, you have an extra decision to make -- but you also have more choices.

A good place to search (outside the yellow pages in your city, and city hall), is the Internet. There are all manner of organizations out there. You just have to find the one that suits you best. Just because you're not getting married in a church doesn't mean your beliefs are out of the picture. Often, officiants with no church affiliation can provide a "spiritual" version of the ceremony, if that is your choice. Or you can go completely secular and make no reference to anything other than the two of you and your love.

Start with recommendations from family and friends, then the Yellow Pages and the Internet. The officiant you want is out there somewhere: You just have to find her/him!

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Inspiration Board: Renaissance weddings

Becky Scott — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:07:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Invitations, Do-It-Yourself, Music and Entertainment, Favors, Ceremonies, Theme weddings, Inspiration Boards

This week it was all about the theme wedding. Renaissance weddings, to be exact. Let's take a look at what we've found for you:

Continue reading Inspiration Board: Renaissance weddings

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Alternative to the pillow: A ring pouch

Ilona Peltz — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Ceremonies, Wedding party

Sometimes including small children in the wedding party is a bit risky. Your wee nephew is as cute as can be, but if there's an accident he can be part of, it'll happen! We all know kids like that. If you still want him part of the ceremony, but are worried that the rings might not make it safely down the aisle, you have a couple of options.

In this case, the clear winner is to give the boy fakes. This happens a lot, you know. That sweet little ring-bearer, who's walking up the aisle with such care has not been entrusted with several hundred dollars worth of teeny-tiny lose-able jewelry. Those are gumball machine rings on that pillow. But shhh! Don't tell him that!

If your little guy isn't as bad as all that, and you think it's reasonable to send him down the aisle with the real deal, you might still opt for these ring pouches instead of a pillow. Aren't they cute?? It's easy to tell whose ring is in which pouch, and, with a drawstring at the top, you're less likely to see your rings rolling down the aisle ...

If you think a pair of these would be perfect for your wedding, you can find more information on the ring pouches at Bridal People.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Choosing your colors with a Palette Generator

Ilona Peltz — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: Do-It-Yourself, Receptions, Ceremonies

One of the first decisions you'll be making after you've chosen the venue is to choose the colors of your wedding. Two or three colors are usual -- any more than that and you risk losing the sense of "theme" at all. Some people can manage more than three colors, but you'd have to have a far better than average sense of color and design to pull it off without it just looking chaotic.

But how do you choose? There are several ways you can do it, but if you're having trouble making up your mind, here's one we found. First, find a picture that you really warm to -- not because of the people in it, or the memories, but because you just like the look of it. It could be an advertisement for toothpaste, just so long as there's something about it that draws you.

Then you scan that picture into your computer and upload it to Big Huge Labs' Palette Generator. This handy tool will evaluate the colors in the picture, then produce for you a palette of colors, some of which you may not have realized were even in there! Check out the colors, then choose the two or three you like best.

It's a fun and pressure-free way to find a bunch of colors that work well together. To get a sense of what this site will do for you, click through the gallery below, then go try out the generator yourselves!

[via: Your Wedding Company]

Gallery: Palette Generator

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Beautiful but non-bridal processional music

Wendy Davidson — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:02:00 EST

Filed under: Music and Entertainment, Ceremonies

Choosing the music for your wedding can be just as difficult and fraught with tension as anything else you have to decide on. There are any number of beautiful, traditional pieces of wedding music to choose from, but what if you just don't want the standard 'weddingy' tunes?

What if you're having a non-religious ceremony? You know that you want something emotive, perhaps, soul-stirring and uplifting, or maybe just a very pretty tune. What is suitable?

We've put together a few pieces of non-bridal music that are still perfect for a wedding.

Beethoven's Pathetique sonata - a simple and elegant piano piece
The theme song from True Romance - You're So Cool by Hans Zimmer - it's hauntingly beautiful.
Somewhere over the rainbow - an acoustic version would be very moving.
All You Need is Love by the Beatles - remember that scene in the movie Love Actually? Wonderful! What a 'memory moment' and fabulous music too.
What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong - played on the saxophone, this is very stirring - there won't be a dry eye amongst your guests. Listen to a version here, on You Tube.

Tip 1: Good instruments would be: classical guitar, the ukulele and the saxophone

Tip 2: Check with your family to make sure they don't have any major requests, and avoid a family crisis!

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Ring bearer pillows

Wendy Davidson — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:01:00 EST

Filed under: Rings, Keeping the Memory, Ceremonies

Want to avoid that dreadful moment when your bestman sheepishly admits he forgot/lost/dropped the rings? Then get yourself a ring pillow and tie those babies firmly on. That way you know you'll have the rings when you need them, plus you provide an extra 'Aah how sweet!' moment as your ringbearer walks down the aisle.

Of course, if you decide to do this you then need to find a suitable ring pillow. One that reflects your wedding theme or personal style. It should be easy - there are lots of ringbearer pillows available, in a huge variety of styles. From classic, elegant and traditional white to cute 'n kitsch to vaguely amusing to quite outlandish.

If you want your dog to carry your ring to you, then get your pup a set of 'doggy wings'. Or maybe you're having a beach themed wedding and would love to have your rings revealed in an oyster? Or in a Cinderella carriage, perhaps? Maybe on a horseshoe? Whatever you want, you'll probably find it somewhere. (And Etsy is, once again, a fabulous source.)

Or, if you're feeling very brave (or just wonderfully creative), then why not make it yourself and get exactly what you want?

For a clearer idea of what's available on the Internet, click through the gallery below.

Gallery: Ring Bearer Pillows

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Venues: Ivy Hotel, San Diego

Becky Scott — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:00:00 EST

Filed under: Honeymoons, Receptions, Ceremonies

San Diego is not only a perfect wedding city, it's great for your honeymoon, too. With great weather, gorgeous sandy beaches, and lots of great places to visit, you can't go wrong. If you're into trendy places and want a sophisticated, elegant venue, take a look at the Ivy Hotel.

Featured in Condé Nast Traveler's 2008 "Hot List," the Ivy has what you need to plan your wedding. Their rooftop area has city and ocean views. You can use their wedding planner to help get things in order for your big day. And when you book a room for your wedding night, they'll provide you a butler.

The trendy night club, Envy, can host your bachelorette party. If you really want to go crazy, though, the Star Suite has king-sized bunk beds, a group-sized shower, and a performance pole. You know, for all of the crazy pole dancing you'll be doing. And if you seriously want to dance, well, they even offer pole dancing lessons.

If you view the last days before your wedding as a time to let loose, then some of that crazy stuff may be right for you. But if you prefer to keep it more mellow, you can still take advantage of their ballrooms or use the rooftop for its amazing views.

Take a look at the gallery for a few pictures and ideas.

Gallery: Ivy Hotel San Diego

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Ask AisleDash: Processional music

Meg Massie — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Music and Entertainment, Ceremonies

Dear AisleDash,

I've picked out a song that I really want to use in my wedding when I walk down the aisle. It's a popular song with lyrics, so I know that's not really traditional, but it would mean a lot to me to use this song. The problem is that the song is almost four minutes long, and no matter how slowly I walk, I can't make my walk last more than a minute or so. Should we just start the song, walk really slowly, and then stand up at the front with my fiance until the song is over? How do I work around this problem?

~L.B.

Dear L.B.,

Lots of people use popular music these days in their weddings. If you play this song before the wedding begins, or as your recessional instead of your processional, you can play the whole song with no problem. If it is important to you to use as your processional specifically, then I'd suggest one of two simple solutions:

You could start the song as your attendants start walking down the aisle. Between their walk time and yours, you can use most of the song so that people aren't just standing around waiting for it to finish up after everyone makes it to the front.

Alternatively, you could simply have your sound person fade the song out when you make it to the front. Pick the one-minute part of the song you like best and instruct your sound tech to play that part of it. Of course you can play the whole thing and stand at the front waiting for it to finish up, but I think that would be sort of awkward.

Do you have a question for Ask AisleDash? Use the Contact AisleDash link at the top of the page, or leave it in the comments section. And be sure to look for our answers every Thursday.

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Handfasting chalice: Old-style romance

Ilona Peltz — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:00:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Wedding Lore/Traditions, Ceremonies

Handfasting may or may not be a Renaissance ceremony, depending on who you read. It certainly started well before the Renaissance, but it was probably still being practiced in some areas during that time. If you're not too much of an historical purist, you might like to include this element in your wedding.

If you saw the movie Braveheart, you would have seen a handfasting. Some believe that handfasting created a year-and-a-day temporary marriage, after which the couple couple could decide whether to marry for life, or whether to go their separate ways. Others believe it to be akin to an engagement, while still others believe it was part of all wedding ceremonies.

Whatever its origins, it's hard to miss the symbolism of being tied together at the wrist. In some ceremonies the couple, once tied, share a drink of wine together, and if that is your choice, you'll enjoy the his-and-her chalices available at Mayhem Ltd. If you think that would be too awkward, many couple opt to help each other take a sip in turn, from the same glass. More details on modern handfasting ceremonies can be found here.

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Image of the week: Renaissance love

Ilona Peltz — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:58:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Ceremonies, Theme weddings

This week's theme is the Renaissance wedding, and how better to illustrate it than with this marvellous picture from a genuine Renaissance wedding? We love the costumes, how the bride has opted for a historically-accurate hood rather than a veil, and how the fellow has chosen military gear rather than civilian.

A noble knight weds his lady-love! And we truly, truly love how you can see the love between them as they share a drink out of what we think must be a handfasting chalice. Feel free to correct us if we've guessed wrong!

Thank you very much to VT Photos for sharing this gorgeous picture with us!

If you'd like your own picture featured here, simply upload photos into our group Flickr Pool. We'll highlight one image every Monday. We're looking for brides and grooms and attendants and guests and cakes and shoes and anything else that was fabulous about your wedding day. Be sure to read the intro on the main Flickr page for more information, and please upload only photos for which you own the copyright.

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

Adventures in ordination: An interview with Jonathon Morgan

Becky Scott — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Do-It-Yourself, Ceremonies

We sat down with Jonathon Morgan from Styledash to talk about his recent adventures in getting ordained. His close friend, Tim, asked him to preside over Tim's wedding to Jenny. Jonathon was honored, yet a little surprised. He researched online ordination, got ordained, and performed the ceremony for his friends. He wrote about the before and after on his site, and later we talked a bit more about the experience.

We read your blog about when Tim asked you to preside over his wedding. Did you ever find out if he knew you weren't ordained when he asked you?

Oh he knew. We're pretty close friends, and I'm sure he assumed I wouldn't be a representative of any spiritual organization that took itself very seriously. :)

It sounds like it took you a bit by surprise - had he given you any inkling at all?

No, not in the slightest. I knew the ceremony was happening, but up until that point had understood it was only for immediate family.

Continue reading Adventures in ordination: An interview with Jonathon Morgan

Permalink | Email this | Comments

Renaissance headgear for all

Ilona Peltz — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Ceremonies, Theme weddings

If you're planning a Renaissance wedding, you'll want to make the most of the luscious hats and headgear they wore back then. It simply wasn't done to go out in public without something on your head, men or women, so the range of choice was rich.

Now, if you weren't a rich woman, you'd likely be wearing a simple linen cap, big enough to tuck your hair inside. (Wouldn't want those lice falling onto your shoulders. Yes, really.) But if you had the money, your head could be lavishly adorned with silk, velvet, brocade and embellished with ribbons, beads, jewels, feathers and/or lace. Our generation did not invent conspicuous consumption! The Renaissance was not a time of subtle understatement in fashion.

And if your man is a bit of a fashion plate himself, he'll be delighted to know that men were allowed every bit as much of the color and embellishing as the women. Rich red hats with purple feathers? He wants it, he gets it!

Gallery: Renaissance hats for everyone

Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments