AisleDash

Lots of couples in the throes of wedding planning daydream about scrapping all the complicated plans and running off to the courthouse instead. My courthouse wedding took place on April 1, 2008 -- over the next few weeks, I'll tell my story, and maybe it will help you decide if eloping is right for you.

I met my partner, McKenzie, at the bridge table in Tennessee a few years ago. We both play a lot of bridge and go to a lot of tournaments, but we'd never met before because we lived on opposite coasts. It was only a matter of time, though -- pretty much all bridge players under thirty eventually become friends, because there are so few of us out there. And we became fast friends -- we kept up between tournaments via email, and after spending a little more time together in person, we knew we would be together for the rest of our lives. Simple as that.

McKenzie was one of those guys who wasn't sure he ever wanted to be married, and certainly not before age 30, an arbitrary guideline he'd set for himself years ago. He says it was because he'd seen too many young people make huge mistakes, and he didn't want to be one of them. I already was one of them. I'd gotten married right out of college, and divorced two years later. I'd had a big wedding before, and didn't want to have another one. I felt like having another wedding so soon after the first one would look self-absorbed, silly, and open me up to massive judgment. No thanks. So I didn't want a wedding, and McKenzie didn't even want to be married anyway -- or so I'd thought.

Jason Biggs, who you probably remember as the guy who, uh, really liked apple pie in the American Pie movies, got married last week in a totally private ceremony at Los Angeles' City Hall. Not even the couple's family was invited in order to completely minimize the stress of getting married.

The 30-year-old actor and his wife, actress Jenny Mollen, 27, have been together for nine months. They met on the set of My Best Friend's Girl, a Kate Hudson movie that's due out in September.

No report on whether they opted for wedding cake or pie to celebrate.

We aren't the least bit ashamed to admit that we ABSOLUTELY didn't see this one coming -- Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon eloped and are married! Reportedly, a source close to the couple confirmed the marriage to Latina.com.

Mariah and Nick got hitched yesterday, in an "impulsive" small island wedding, attended by just a few of their close friends, including rapper and Mariah BFF, DaBrat.

We reported just a couple of days ago that the couple might be engaged, but we weren't holding our breath since Nick's five month engagement to Victoria's Secret model Selina Ebanks went belly-up not too long ago. In fact, there are rumors that Mariah's engagement ring was actually the same one Nick used to propose to Selina, in which case we're giving this relationship about a minute before they opt for an equally impulsive divorce. If that's not the case, we'll give it an hour. Though, maybe they're happy and all of this isn't quite as crazy as we think it is ...

If you're looking for beautiful scenery, you can't go wrong in wine country. We found a gorgeous little inn and restaurant in the Dry Creek Valley of California. They specialize in Victorian garden and elegant evening weddings. With eight acres of gardens and wooded areas, you're sure to find the perfect spot for your ceremony and pictures at Madrona Manor.

The Manor was built in 1881. It can accommodate up to 125 guests for your special day. They have an extensive menu and can do anything from a gourmet buffet to a five-course tasting menu. And they have event planners to help you work out all of the details. Facility fees range from $1500 - 13,000.

If you prefer to run away and get married, they even offer an elopement package that includes the minister, bride's bouquet, groom's boutonniere, cake, and a disposable camera. Oh, and a two-night stay, of course. Prices start at $2340 for the package.

If you're in the area or planning to travel to wine country for your nuptials, check them out. The gorgeous gardens and setting may just be what you were looking for.

If you're lucky, either you or your future spouse have access to good insurance that the other can take advantage of once you get married. But what if your wedding is over six months away and you have a need for insurance now?

A discussion at the Offbeat Bride talks about this situation, and readers are chiming in with what they did or would do.

For some, marrying secretly before the big day isn't a big deal. Insurance is taken care of, but they still get their big day with family and friends. For others, though, it seems like family will be cheated a little bit if they don't see the union the first time.

So does it have to be a secret? Is it really a big deal if someone goes to the courthouse and later gets married in a big ceremony? Tell us what you think about the matter.

Photo by island spice licensed under Creative Commons.

When you're planning a destination wedding, it's smart to choose a dress that will be easy to pack, easy to wear, and easy to photograph. When you're getting married on a beach you won't be able to get a cathedral train to look just so for the pictures.

Face it: If you're getting married in a breezy tropical location, there probably won't be any ball gowns in your future.

Better to go for a carefree slip of a dress, something like this silk chiffon number by Chic bridal. It's elegant enough for the biggest day of your life, and at $299 (!) you won't regret jumping into the water once your beach front ceremony is over. Better yet, spend your savings in beautiful jewelry and flowers to personalize this simple dress. Think of it as a blank canvas, and let your personal style shine through!

Diet Dr. Pepper celebrates its new flavor, Cherry Chocolate, by creating a chapel of love at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. They're offering free nuptials to couples in Vegas on Valentine's Day. It's a 24-hour party. And if you can't make it, you can watch it live on their web site.

If you want to get married, or renew your vows, check out the requirements on their site. All you really need is a marriage certificate from Las Vegas City Hall, but you may want to bring along some friends. You can get special rates at the Hard Rock Hotel if rooms are still available AND receive a complimentary bottle of champagne (while supplies last).

It looks like around 80 people have signed up to attend. We're intrigued by this and wonder how many people will actually show up. After all, we are talking a FREE wedding ceremony. Even if you aren't already in Vegas, you can still get in on the action and watch the Singing Elvis marry people. That alone may make it worth checking out the video feed.

Image by zoonabar licensed under Creative Commons.

Are you looking for a favor that's personalized, fun, and maybe just a little cheeky? Then forget Jordan almonds! How about a deck of cards with your smiling faces on them?

Personalized wedding cards are a clever gift that people will actually use - in some cases long after the wedding. Poker night with the girls will never be the same!

These cards would make fun favors for any wedding, but are particularly appropriate at a destination wedding taking place in a casino-style resort. They also would work as an announcement for a couple that elopes to Vegas, don't you think?

I've just returned from a week in Reno, Nevada. It's like Vegas, except with fewer tall buildings made entirely of flashing yellow lights. Just like Vegas, there are wedding chapels all over, including the hotel where I stayed, the Grand Sierra Resort, which even had a catering service that offered decorations for a Tiffany-themed wedding. The chapel was nicely decorated and the services available provided some elegant touches for some very fancy-looking weddings that happened while I was staying at the hotel.

How do I know this? Because I saw it all. Walking in my sweats (standard vacation apparel) through the smoky casino and the pizza joint next to the wedding chapel, I saw about ten different brides and their attendants trying to navigate swarms of other Reno tourists to get to their weddings. Some of these weddings appeared to be black tie affairs, but who were they kidding? As soon as they opened the chapel door to the hallways of the hotel, they were surrounded by screaming kids, drunk, smelly gamblers, and crowds of other people who have nothing to do with their wedding.

The resort and its accommodations were lovely, as were many of the brides I passed in elevators and hallways, but the bottom line is that it's really hard to produce an elegant atmosphere in between a casino, a pizza place, and an arcade. There's no reason your Vegas or Reno wedding can't be great -- but if you want it to be truly fancy, you'll have some obstacles to overcome.

Sometimes a couple is ready to get married, but not ready to have a wedding. Maybe they're still in school, or one of them is shipping out with the military soon, or they can only be covered by their partner's insurance policies if they tie the knot -- so they want to get married now, but for whatever reason do not have time to plan a wedding. These people could have a small ceremony or quick civil service, but that's not what they want. They want to be married now, but also don't want to miss out on the big wedding they've always dreamed of -- which can't happen until later.

I know of a few couples who have been in this situation, and all of them said the same thing: we'll just have a quiet legal ceremony now, and we'll do the "real" wedding later when we have time. But of everyone I know who has said this, none of them ever actually had their two weddings. They either got married and then lost enthusiasm for the big wedding, or their two weddings idea met with such resistance from family that they just decided to have only the big ceremony, though perhaps a bit rushed and not exactly as they'd hoped it would be.

I am of the opinion that a couple can throw their wedding however they want, and guests who don't like it should keep quiet -- they have the right not to attend, and don't need to start a big feud over something like this. However, I do find it a little odd that a couple who is already married would want to go through the vows and "I now pronounce you" bit just for show. If you want to have a big celebration after your wedding, why not elope now and hold just a reception later? You can still wear a big white dress if you want. Or have a vow renewal ceremony instead of calling it a wedding. That seems more appropriate -- but who am I to make the rules? Let's see what others have to say about it.

Surprisingly, not all human beings bearing an XX chromosome come out of the womb ready to plan a sit-down dinner for approximately 100 guests, with nicely coordinating shades of favorite hues, and (oh ya) a groom.

At the age of nine, I told my childhood pal that I just KNEW I wanted to get married. She stared at me blankly: "How can you know that?" I stared blankly right back: "You mean you DON'T??" An exchange that I can only speculate initiated the years of philosophical differences that were to follow. Ironically, I remain no longer betrothed. And she? Married, and I can only assume blissfully. Having stumbled upon her photos on Facebook, I discovered she and her boyfriend had eloped to New York City, and a happier looking couple I've yet to see. He clad a dapper dark suit and dark shirt sans "requisite" tie. She wearing a stunning girlie white-ish dress with curling black vines on the skirt, a black sash, a black cardigan and flats. Seated on his lap on a sunny fall day, on a bench in Central Park, the sweetness in their kiss made my heart hurt.

Another one of my very best friends has been married for a very long time. She confessed to me a few years back that the wedding itself was a painful endeavor akin to having a root canal. She reluctantly wore the white dress and managed to smile her way through the photos. But it does beg the question: What does a bride do when not innately ... bride-y?

Get married anyway. Run away and buck tradition. Or put on the white dress, smile and look forward to the years ahead with your best friend. The white dress is transitory. The happiness that follows is not.

Last month Ilona wrote a great post on getting your wedding dress for less. She suggested renting, borrowing, or buying a bridesmaid's gown. And last week, Kerri wrote a great post on how everything costs more at a "wedding." It was a combination of those two tips that scored me the wedding dress of my dreams for a mere $75.

First, I told all the salespeople that I was looking for a dress for a wedding -- omitting the fact that it was my wedding I was looking for. My husband and I got married at City Hall, and I didn't need an ornate wedding dress. By not specifying that I was actually looking for a wedding dress, I avoided the top tier of fancy, floor-length dresses, and the salespeople showed me mostly tea-length, unembellished dresses. It wasn't particularly important to me that the dress was white, although I did mention that I wanted to avoid black. I told them that I wasn't flashy, that I wanted to avoid going strapless, and that I'd wear my hair down. These things were true for my wedding day -- and they'd be true for any party I went to, too.

When we got married, we registered for gifts, even though we eloped, which Ilona has told us is an etiquette no-no. And I understand why: no party, no presents. In my defense, though, I had just returned from some time living abroad and had no household goods to my name, and my husband had just returned, from, uh, a many-yeared stint of being a stereotypical single man, and the only real pan he owned was his Hamburger Helper pan. (He called it that because it was the pan he bought to make his nightly Hamburger Helper in. And then I married him and there was no more Helping of any sort Hamburger, and we all lived happily ever after.)

So we registered.

Meg just wrote about using Irregular Choice blue shoes as your "something blue." When I got married, I wore a pair of very pale blue heels. Style-wise, they were perfect and understated and I loved the sly pop of color they gave my wedding outfit. In terms of fit, though, they were hideously, horribly uncomfortable – and our ceremony was only fifteen minutes long! I took them off in the car on the way home and they have never been on my feet again. If I had to do it over again I'd pick Cynthia Rowley or Fifi Annika shoes, I think, which are white with blue soles or footbeds.

And for the record: my dress was new, my lingerie was old (although, really, it was my wedding day, so it wasn't that old) and my something borrowed was the Kleenex that our Officiant handed me halfway through the ceremony. I used it to dry my eyes and then thought, WAIT, we're going to exchange rings in about forty-five seconds, what on earth do I do with the Kleenex NOW? (In the end, I rolled it into a tube shape and flung it into the first row of seats. And now you know the real reason we eloped: if we hadn't, the Kleenex would have landed on my Grandfather, or worse, my new in-laws.)