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My Small Wedding: Family spread far and wide

Meg Massie — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice, Ceremonies, Green Weddings, Eloping

My family is from Virginia. His is from Oregon. Both of our families are huge. Getting everyone together for a wedding would have been a huge expense for everyone involved. At least half of our potential guest list would be facing a cross country trip, and then we'd be facing the bill to host them all. Oof.

So we eloped.

The cost of traveling is a huge concern these days, and you should consider how much you're asking of people when you invite them to a wedding hundreds of miles from home. If your guests share my family's mentality that weddings are mandatory, then you might actually be doing them a favor by trimming the guest list. You don't have to elope, but keeping a wedding small and intimate will save money across the board, not to mention the environmental impact of all that travel.

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Couple has five weddings in nine months

Susan Wagner — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:06:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Eloping

One of the hardest parts about planning a wedding is facing the fact that someone you love will not be able to be there for your big day. Maybe you have family or friends who live too far away, or maybe your loved ones have conflicting schedules. One couple decided that rather than leave anyone out, they would bring the wedding to their friends and family -- even though it meant having five weddings in nine months.

It started with an elopement: Simonne Harris' boyfriend, Ryan Feeney, whisked her off to Las Vegas three months into their relationship. He proposed during their transatlantic flight, dropping an engagement ring into her glass, and then announced that he had already arranged for them to be married at the famous Little White Wedding Chapel.

Last month, they were married again in Bodrum, Turkey, where the groom's mother lives. They are planning three more ceremonies -- one in August in their hometown of Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, in England, one in September in Florida, where the bride's father lives, and a final ceremony in Lilydale, Victoria, Australia, where the bride's mother lives.

Each ceremony has its own flair; the Turkish wedding took place at sunset, the Florida wedding will be a Jewish blessing, and the Aussie wedding will have purple flowers, the mother of the bride's favorite.

And yes, the bride is wearing a different dress for every wedding.

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Marriage on the run

Becky Scott — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:30:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Ceremonies, Eloping

Sometimes, you just want to throw off all of the formality of a wedding ceremony: the expense, the expectations, the endless planning. If the ceremony is less important to you than a honeymoon, or you just want to hurry up and start your lives together, you can get married quickly and painlessly. Besides running off to Vegas or eloping somewhere else, you can tie the knot on your way to your favorite destination.

In Los Angeles, there's the Officiant Guy. Chris Robinson is a non-denominational minister who can perform just about any marriage ceremony you can think of -- even airport weddings. There are a variety of reasons to get married at an airport. You met your love while traveling. Maybe you're a pilot and he's an airline steward. Or perhaps you just want to get married in LAX on your way to to that fabulous honeymoon in Santorini.

The Officiant Guy can marry you in the airport even if you don't live in California. He's authorized to issue confidential marriage licenses - which means you can get a license instantly, get married and get on your way. And if you want to keep your marriage quiet for whatever reason, that confidential license will mean that no one but you, your spouse, and your officiant even have to know you're married.

So if you want to get married on the run and don't want to use a justice of the peace, think about someone like the Officiant Guy.

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Is a surprise wedding worth considering?

Meg Massie — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EST

Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Alternative Weddings, Ceremonies, Eloping

Lots of couples decide to elope when they get frustrated with all the pressure and expense of planning a wedding. Big weddings and secret elopements are not your only options, though. There's a middle path being forged by celebrities: the surprise wedding.

Surprise weddings are a sort of public elopement, where you invite guests to a party, and when they arrive, you surprise them with your wedding. There's still a ceremony, so there's of course still some planning to do, but it's much more low-key and low-stress than a traditional wedding.

When you have a surprise wedding, you sidestep the problem of overbearing relatives who hijack the wedding plans, and you can save big money. We also know that putting "No gifts, please," on an invitation won't stop people from bringing presents by the truckload -- so for the couple who really doesn't want or need any gifts, this is a great way to stop them from coming. And, according to Marilyn Oliveira, senior editor at the WeddingChannel.com, holding a surprise wedding is the perfect way to "make a big splash without a huge budget."

So before you toss all your spreadsheets out the window and run to City Hall, maybe you want to consider hosting your own surprise wedding instead.

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Couple surprises party guests with their wedding

Meg Massie — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:00:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Engagement, Ceremonies, Eloping

When Dan and Maggie Miller invited family and friends to a New Year's Eve engagement party, guests arrived to find wedding cake in the hall and Maggie in a big white dress. "Surprise! It's our wedding!"

The couple, both busy in med school, had considered eloping to avoid all the hassle of wedding planning. "By the time I got to the point I was actually going to get married, I didn't want to deal with all that stuff," Maggie said. But since their friends would be in town for the holidays anyway, they decided to make their "elopement" a public affair -- while still keeping the wedding part a secret.

They let a few close friends and family members in on the secret, and it was Maggie's mom who insisted on the white dress. "My son had a huge church wedding," she said, "so I had a huge church wedding in my pocket and didn't need another." It sounds like Maggie should thank her brother for getting her off the hook!

For a while now, celebrities have been embracing the surprise wedding trend as a way to keep the paparazzi away from their nuptials, but more and more non-celebs are copying the idea, finding that the surprise wedding is a great way to elope without actually eloping.

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The Elopement Chronicles: Throwing a party after the fact

Meg Massie — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:00:00 EST

Filed under: Etiquette, Receptions, After the 'I Do's', Eloping

For most people who elope, letting the secret out is pretty much the end of the line. Most people don't have a party or reception because you eloped to save money on that stuff in the first place. But hey, you've already broken from tradition -- it's not like there are rules you have to follow now. Have a party if you want to!

As with the ceremony, a post-elopement reception can be just like a typical wedding reception if that's what you want. You can do a fancy dress code, a three-tiered cake, music, dancing, and entertainment -- but you shouldn't have wedding-like expectations of your guests. They should not be pressured or expected to bring gifts, for one thing. It's great if you make this clear on your invitation -- a simple "No gifts, please" at the bottom will be fine (and lots of people will bring presents anyway). It is easy for parties like this to take on the appearance of a gift grab, which is not why you're doing it, is it?

You also need to be understanding if and when guests don't go out of their way to attend your party. People don't see these events as important as weddings, and if attending means buying a plane ticket or taking vacation days from work, don't expect them to do it.

Continue reading The Elopement Chronicles: Throwing a party after the fact

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Inspiration board: Las Vegas

Roxanna Sarmiento — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Cakes and Catering, Celebrity Weddings, Destination Ceremonies, Pre-Ceremony Parties, Alternative Weddings, Invitations, Celebrity Relationships, Favors, Eloping, Celebrity, Theme weddings, Inspiration Boards

Let's talk Vegas, baby!

Continue reading Inspiration board: Las Vegas

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The Elopement Chronicles: Telling your friends and family

Meg Massie — Tue, 27 May 2008 09:00:00 EST

Filed under: Negotiating Speed Bumps, Relationships, Etiquette, Eloping

As you plan your elopement, you will decide who, if anyone, will be invited to your ceremony. The typical elopement, though, is just the two of you plus a witness or two. So when do you tell your family and friends -- the ones who won't be there to see it?

The problem with telling people in advance is that many of them are going to want to come. When an American friend of mine became engaged to a Canadian several years ago, they decided to have a courthouse ceremony right away to get the citizenship ball rolling, but then do a big wedding with all their friends and family after they'd had time to plan it. They told everyone of these plans, and both families insisted on being there to witness the "real" wedding. When the bride's large Canadian family came down from Montreal, they insisted on making a week of it, since they'd come so far. They did a rehearsal dinner, wedding day brunch, fancy clothes, the works. This quickie civil ceremony turned into a several thousand dollar event, and the big wedding that the couple really wanted? Never happened.

Continue reading The Elopement Chronicles: Telling your friends and family

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Inspiration board: Elopement

Becky Scott — Mon, 26 May 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Eloping, Inspiration Boards

Sometimes you just want to get away from it all: the hassles and expense of a big wedding at home. Instead, you may just consider eloping. This week, we've brought you Meg's Elopement Chronicles to tell you a little about the process.

You can find many places to elope: Gretna Green, Victoria, Macchu Picchu and Madrona Manor are just a few of the options available to you. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten Vegas.

Of course, there are things you should know before you go. And we've given you three reasons to elope. Did you know the etiquette of eloping? We've got that, too!

Don't forget that no roundup would be complete without a dress, and we've got a beautiful Marchesa Notte design to cover you.

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Celebrity weddings, Las Vegas: Britney Spears and Jason Allen Alexander

Kristen Seymour — Sun, 25 May 2008 22:28:00 EST

Filed under: Celebrity Weddings, Destination Ceremonies, Eloping, Celebrity

Back when she was still quite the pop princess, Britney Spears wed her childhood pal, Jason Allen Alexander, at the Little White Wedding Chapel at five in the morning. The couple didn't exactly dress for the January 3, 2004 nuptials -- Britney wore jeans and a baseball cap.

No friends or family members were present, so Britney was escorted down the aisle by a lucky hotel bellman. Almost as soon as the ink dried on the magazines announcing the super-surprising marriage, the couple signed annulment papers, and after just 55 hours, the marriage was over.

You think that sounds less than classy? Check out our next celebrity Vegas wedding!

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Traveling for your wedding or honeymoon? Bring some extra cash

Jennifer Canzoneri — Sat, 24 May 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Honeymoons, Destination Ceremonies, Negotiating Speed Bumps, Pre-Ceremony Parties, Eloping

Added to the long list of stresses of air travel, you can now add one more thing. As ABC News reported, American Airlines announced this past Wednesday that all air travelers will be charged $15 for the first bag they check and $25 for each additional bag due to rapidly increasing fuel costs. What's more, you won't see any added services or perks after you fork over the extra money, so if you're debating between checking or carrying-on your luggage, perhaps this will sway you to pack carefully -- leave those extra few pairs of shoes you are 99% positive you won't wear at home -- and take your suitcases on board along with your US Weekly and extra pillow. If you're traveling for your wedding or honeymoon, you've undoubtedly spent quite a bit of money on the trip already, so paying an additional amount to bring clothes and necessities on your trip seems more than a little irritating. Although it can't be known how long this new system will be in place or how many other airlines may adopt it in the future, it is currently in effect, so keep it in mind when traveling for your wedding or any wedding-related events. You have enough to worry about -- you shouldn't have to be surprised with any extra costs.

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Elope in the lap of luxury

Roxanna Sarmiento — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Honeymoons, Alternative Weddings, Eloping

Have you always dreamed of climbing the heights of Macchu Picchu? Why not get married there, in an authentic Andean ceremony? If you think that sounds amazing, but would be a logistical nightmare, you're right - if you're thinking of having a traditional wedding. But if you consider eloping, well, then it's a little more feasible...

Forbes Traveler has compiled a list of some of the most stylish and unique places to elope, because, as they put it: The classic elopement ... has been modernized and redefined. It's less about keeping secrets than keeping the experience personal-and perfect.

The popular image of an elopement is that it's a spur-of-the-moment decision made by a young couple sneaking away to get married before anyone (read: parents) can stop them.

Of course, we all know that's not always the case anymore. Instead, elopements can be as elegant or complex as any other wedding - except for the fact that there is no guest list. (Which let's face it, is a major source of stress for many engaged couples.)

Check the article for some truly amazing locales, and get some inspiration for your perfect elopement!

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The etiquette of eloping

Ilona Peltz — Fri, 23 May 2008 12:56:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Etiquette, After the 'I Do's', Eloping

There are people who claim an elopement is by definition a breach of etiquette. If you don't have a proper wedding, even if it's a very small one, you have committed a huge social faux pas. However, there are good reasons to elope: Maybe there's been a death of a close family member, and you no longer feel a big wedding is appropriate, so you slip off very quietly to city hall to have it made formal; maybe you simply can't afford a big wedding; maybe there are insurmountable religious/cultural differences. Emily Post and Judith Martin acknowledge that etiquette puts consideration and kindness above rules and regs. Sure the rest of us can do the same?

But if there's one rule that stands up to just about every situation, it is this: An elopement is a secret. Nobody knows but the two of you.

Why is that important to etiquette?

Continue reading The etiquette of eloping

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Reason to elope #3: Second wedding

Ilona Peltz — Fri, 23 May 2008 08:00:00 EST

Filed under: Second Wedding, Eloping

You've had the Big White Wedding, complete with flowers, photographers, the harpist in the church and the DJ at the reception. You've had the cake and the receiving line and the eight attendants. You've done all that once, and it was nice, but this is your second "I Do", and you just don't ...

want all the fuss this time around, that is.

This time, the emphasis is on the relationship. This time, your focus is on the marriage, not the wedding. And that is why this time you've decided to elope. You might not want to do this if you have children of an age to want to be part of the ceremony, even if it's a very simple one. But if you have no children, or your children are grown with lives of their own, an elopement might be exactly the right thing for the second-time-lucky couple.

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Reasons to Elope #2: Cost

Ilona Peltz — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:00:00 EST

Filed under: Budget Advice, Eloping

The average American wedding today costs in the order of $30,000. With the average American family making a little over $46,000, that's eight months' income for most of us. And since you have to spend money for frivolous things like housing and food, it'll take a lot more than eight months to save it up. Unless, of course, you decide to go into debt, and put your brand-new marriage under thousands of dollars of stress.

An elopement gets around all that. For far less than $30,000, you could have an amazing honeymoon. You could buy your condo or put a down payment on a house. Or you could just invest it.

In fact, you could go so far as to say an elopement is a financially responsible thing to do!

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Why elope? Reason #1: It's personal

Ilona Peltz — Thu, 22 May 2008 09:04:00 EST

Filed under: Alternative Weddings, Eloping

An elopement is about the two of you. No one else. You skip the politics, you skip the jockeying for position, you skip the conflicts with friends and family with very different ideas than your own.

People who elope for this reason are not selfish. They may come from families with widely divergent religious and/or cultural backgrounds, and there's just no way to satisfy everyone -- or, more accurately, there's no way to avoid offending everyone. They may have very little family, or too much!

An elopement is the ultimate in personal. Even those who have always wanted the Big Wedding can sometimes feel they're part of a machine that they have to fight in order to make it express themselves and their relationship. If you've never wanted a Big Wedding, it can feel like you've been taken over by a monster. An elopement, on the other hand, is yours, all yours.

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Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have secret, no-frills wedding

Kristen Seymour — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:30:00 EST

Filed under: Celebrity Weddings, Eloping, Celebrity

We thought Beyonce and Mariah Carey were secretive about their nuptials, but they don't even hold a candle to newlyweds Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, who made their relationship legal on Monday. Her publicist confirmed the marriage rumor yesterday. However, not only were they secretive leading up to it, but after the fact as well. Jessica's brother is rumored to have found out about it when he was contacted by a gossip publication.

The couple swapped vows at the Beverly Hills courthouse. Cash wore a white shirt and brown pants, and Jessica donned a long, blue dress and had her hair pulled back. They said their "I dos" about 40 minutes after applying for their marriage license. Their only witness was the one provided by the court.

Jessica and Cash broke up for a short time last year, then got back together, and in December they announced their engagement and Jessica's pregnancy, not necessarily in that order. Their bundle of joy should be coming along in a month or so.

Gallery: Cash Warren and Jessica Alba

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Elopement industry rises

Ilona Peltz — Wed, 21 May 2008 10:00:00 EST

Filed under: Eloping

It used to be that elopements were questionable affairs. The couple would sneak away to marry, and upon their return would have to break the news to friends and family who would be varying degrees of horrified. Elopement weddings were bare-bones events held in uniformly drab offices in various city halls.

That was then, this is now. Though elopements continue to be small affairs -- just the couple, with maybe two friends as witnesses -- they are no longer shameful. These days, couples plan their elopements as they would a (very small) wedding. (A note on terminology: an elopement is a secret. If everyone knows the two of you are off to Antigua to marry, you are not eloping, you are having an "intimate destination wedding".)

With this shift in social attitude comes a shift in commercial attitude. Now that people are celebrating their elopements, businesses of all sorts are offering "elopement packages". Not just wedding planners and officiants, but hotels, tourist attractions, popular destinations, bed and breakfasts, parks, florists and photographers all offer elopement packages. If you're thinking of an elopement, start with a Google search. You'll be pleasantly surprised by just how much support there is!

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Victoria, "Canada's premier elopement destination"

Ilona Peltz — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:01:00 EST

Filed under: Destination Ceremonies, Eloping

Victoria is one of Canada's prettiest cities. It has the mildest climate in Canada, with flowers, so they say, year-round. It gets the most sunshine of any city in British Columbia (though we're not sure what that really says, given the amount of rain the west half of that province gets ...) The scenery -- ocean and mountains -- is spectacular, and Victoria, placed on an island, is about as romantic as it gets.

Want a beach wedding but can't afford Hawaii? Try Victoria. Are you the rugged, hiking-and-skiing couple? You'll love Victoria, so close to west coast skiing and Rocky Mountain hiking. Partial to nature? Want to include a little whale-watching in your honeymoon? Or perhaps you prefer a little civilization, fine dining and theatre? As the capital city of the province, Victoria has that, too.

Which is probably why Victoria is becoming a hot elopement destination in Canada. Sea, mountains, flowers, history, accommodation, tourism, natural beauty and city life. As a romantic wedding venue, Victoria has it all!

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Dress of the day: Style 90J353 by Marchesa Notte

Roxanna Sarmiento — Tue, 20 May 2008 14:30:00 EST

Filed under: Fashion, Celebrity Weddings, Eloping, Dress of the Day

This style by hot hot hot designer Marchesa is exactly what an eloping fashionista needs: A classy outfit that will keep your low-key wedding a secret (shh!) but that packs enough of a style punch to serve you well at your inevitable post-elopement bash. We ADORE the lace bateau-neck jacket, it's divine and flirty and will certainly be worn again. (Can you imagine wearing it over jeans and a simple top?) The sweet crepe dress under it is sleek enough for daytime but when cinched at the waist with a satin ribbon becomes the perfect little white dress for night.

Who knew practicality could be so pretty?

Gallery: Dress of the day: Brides

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