AisleDashhttp://www.aisledash.comAisleDashhttp://www.aisledash.com/media/feedlogo.gifAisleDashhttp://www.aisledash.comen-usCopyright 2008 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/What's in a name?http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/23/whats-in-a-name/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/23/whats-in-a-name/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/23/whats-in-a-name/#commentsFiled under: ,

All along you've assumed that after the big day your bride will become Mrs. Groom. You're sitting in the kitchen, chatting with her sister, and she very casually mentions that she will not be changing her name. Most women in the US do change their names, but a certain percentage (10 - 20, depending on who you read) do not. For some men, this is not a big deal: she's agreed to marry you, after all, live with you forever, put up with your goofy sense of humor, maybe even have your babies. That's plenty!

Others, the traditional sort, might find this a bit hard to take. They might see it as a personal rejection, and react accordingly. Of course, it's not a rejection. She's agreed to marry you, live with you forever... (you know the drill, we just said all that). But it can feel that way, anyway.

You might need to have a conversation. Not a conversation so that you can change her mind, a conversation so that you can understand why she's made this choice. Before the conversation, though, think for a bit -- really, really think -- about how it would feel to have to change your name to hers. Never mind that it's not "traditional", and thus "stupid". What would it feel like? And if even a teeny little part of you says, "I couldn't do that! It's my name!", you don't need to have the conversation with her. You already understand why.

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]]>featuredgroomstuffmaiden-namemarried-namename-changesurnameIlona PeltzWed, 23 Jul 2008 15:00:00 ESTFather of the bride - four tips for the wedding dayhttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/23/what-does-dad-do-on-the-day-four-tips-for-the-fotb/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/23/what-does-dad-do-on-the-day-four-tips-for-the-fotb/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/23/what-does-dad-do-on-the-day-four-tips-for-the-fotb/#commentsFiled under: , ,

bride and father, dancing

Fathers of the bride are often given no more than a passing sentence in the etiquette books, and it's an expensive one: "Traditionally, the wedding and reception are paid for by the bride's family." As bridal couples are more and more likey to have been living independently (and, most of the time, together) for some while before the wedding, they are also more and more likely to be paying for their own wedding. An increasing percentage of brides escort their own selves down the aisle.

Which leaves dad doing ... what, exactly? Some dads don't want anything more. Some are perfectly content to wear what they're told, show up when and where they're told, and otherwise stay out of the limelight.

If you'd like more input than that on this most important day, there are a few things you can be doing that your daughter will truly appreciate. Experienced FOTB Ken York has a few pointers for you. The first one starts with not your daughter, but her mother. Give her something (Ken suggests jewelery), and with the gift say something sweet and thoughtful about all her hard work in raising this lovely young woman. If that doesn't make you Man of the Year (or at least the Hour) in her heart, we don't know what will.

Other tips?

Continue reading Father of the bride - four tips for the wedding day

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]]>father-daughter-dancefather-of-the-bridegroomstuffreceptionweddingIlona PeltzWed, 23 Jul 2008 10:03:00 ESTWedding by the numbershttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/22/wedding-by-the-numbers/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/22/wedding-by-the-numbers/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/22/wedding-by-the-numbers/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Weddingbells, a Canadian wedding magazine, invited its readers to share some stats about their wedding. Fifteen hundred of them obliged, resulting in the following facts and figures:

The Canadian bride is 29 years old when she gets engaged, and close to three-quarters of all brides-to-be are living with their fiance when he pops the question. Most proposals occur between December and February, with the weddings following up to ten months later, most between July and September.

Close to two-thirds of couples pay for their weddings themselves, and though they thought it would cost them around $17,000, in fact it generally cost something over $25,000. Isn't that always the way?

If you're a Canadian bride, check out the full list of statistics at Wedding Bells, and see how your plans and budget compare!

via: Canada.com

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]]>bridal-magazinesCanadawedding-statswedding-trendsWeddingbellsIlona PeltzTue, 22 Jul 2008 16:00:00 ESTWedding Betting - will they make it, or will they break up?http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/21/theres-nothing-like-good-taste/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/21/theres-nothing-like-good-taste/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/21/theres-nothing-like-good-taste/#commentsFiled under: ,

thumbs downWedding Betting allows you to view a picture of a happy couple and decide whether they'll stay together or not. You have a range of choices, from "barely past the altar" to "happily ever after." You base your decision on ... well, we're not quite sure what. The shape of their noses? The sincerity in their eyes? How many freckles she has?

If you truly want your relationship to be judged by legions of strangers, you can submit your own pictures. But what about follow-up? I mean, you'll have an obligation to all those people who voted. If your marriage doesn't make it to "happily ever after", which of you will pop back in and share the bad news?

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]]>bad-tastebettingbetting-against-marriagerelationshipsIlona PeltzMon, 21 Jul 2008 15:00:00 ESTImage of the Week: Mother-son dancehttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/21/image-of-the-week-mother-son-dance/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/21/image-of-the-week-mother-son-dance/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/21/image-of-the-week-mother-son-dance/#commentsFiled under: , ,

mother and son dance

This is Groom Week on AisleDash, and what better picture to illustrate the theme than with this terrific shot by Tracie Taylor Photography. We love this picture, not just because he's a very handsome fellow (who obviously gets his at least half his good looks from his mother), but because of the positive energy between mother and son.

There's an old saying that if you want to know what a woman will look like in twenty years, look at her mother. Well, we'd like to add another saying to the list: If you want to know how your groom will treat you in twenty years, watch how he treats his mother. We're thinking that in another twenty years, this man's bride will still be glad she chose him!

Thanks, Tracie, for sharing this picture with us.

If you'd like your own picture featured here, simply upload photos into our group Flickr Pool. We'll highlight one image every Monday. We're looking for brides and grooms and attendants and guests and cakes and shoes and anything else that was fabulous about your wedding day. Be sure to read the intro on the main Flickr page for more information, and please upload only photos for which you own the copyright.

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]]>family-relationshipsgroomstuffmother-sonmother-son-danceIlona PeltzMon, 21 Jul 2008 11:58:00 ESTPriest gives guidance for selecting a matehttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/19/priest-gives-guidance-for-selecting-a-mate/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/19/priest-gives-guidance-for-selecting-a-mate/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/19/priest-gives-guidance-for-selecting-a-mate/#commentsFiled under:

Although he's celibate and admits to having no personal experience with intimate relationships, Father Pat Connor has seen his fair share of both marital bliss and strife in his 51 years as a priest. That's why he's now talking to high school age kids about what to look for in a spouse. He directs his counsel mostly to young women, because they are more interested, more likely to listen, and more likely to heed the advice. And he wants to get to them before they fall in love, when emotions take over and reason seems to fly out the window. On the warning list are guys who are tied too tightly to their mother's apron strings (because they can't make their own decisions), guys with no friends (because they don't know how to maintain a long-term relationship), and guys with financial troubles (because of the obvious reasons). While that may leave you wondering who's left to choose from, Connor stands behind his advice, warning that you can't change your partner after you're married, so it's a good idea to choose carefully from the get-go.

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]]>advicerelationship-adviceCaroline HumphreysSat, 19 Jul 2008 11:00:00 ESTAsk AisleDash: Unwanted guesthttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/17/ask-aisledash-unwanted-guest/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/17/ask-aisledash-unwanted-guest/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/17/ask-aisledash-unwanted-guest/#commentsFiled under: ,

Dear AisleDash,

My family life is pretty messed up. My parents are divorced, and I try to stay involved with my dad's side of the family, but I don't ever want to see my father. Ever since I was very young, he was both physically and emotionally abusive, addicted to drugs, and made my life miserable whenever possible. Obviously, he won't be invited to my wedding. We are inviting his parents and his brother, though, because I have always had a good relationship with them and want to include them. The problem is that my future wife and I are very, very paranoid that he will find out about the wedding and show up unannounced. My fiancee has been having nightmares about him ruining our wedding day, and we don't know what to do to prevent him from showing up. What can we do?

~Paranoid Groom

Dear Paranoid Groom,

The first thing you need to do, which I hope you've already done, is to communicate with those on your dad's side of the family that are invited. Make sure they know that your father is not welcome, and to please not mention it to him. This will minimize the chances that he will find out in the first place.


Continue reading Ask AisleDash: Unwanted guest

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]]>adviceask-aisledashdivorced-parentsfamilysecuritywedding-anxietywedding-crasherswedding-securityMeg MassieThu, 17 Jul 2008 12:00:00 ESTRelationship help onlinehttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/16/relationship-help-online/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/16/relationship-help-online/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/16/relationship-help-online/#commentsFiled under: ,

Couple's therapy moves online with the launch of eHarmony's (yep, the match-makers) new website, eHarmony Marriage. Here couples can get help with their relationship problems from an online therapist. The process starts with each person filling out a questionnaire that spans key marital issues from money to spirituality. The questionnaires are culled into a report that highlights the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship. That's just the free stuff. If that sounds a little too automated, you can subscribe (starts at $150 for three months) to the program and access a library of videos and articles to help with your specific issues. It could be that online counseling is the perfect starting place for struggling couples - it's less expensive than a series of appointments and it's relatively anonymous. But, its effectiveness is yet to be proven.

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]]>couselingrelationship-advicerelationshipadviceCaroline HumphreysWed, 16 Jul 2008 11:00:00 ESTMarriage as a "Venture Partnership"http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/13/marriage-as-a-venture-partnership/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/13/marriage-as-a-venture-partnership/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/13/marriage-as-a-venture-partnership/#commentsFiled under: ,

meeting roomDoesn't sound very romantic, does it?

But then, much of marriage isn't particularly romantic. Leaky basements, colicky babies and demanding in-laws are not romantic. Nor are stressful jobs and money worries, but things like this will undoubtedly be part of your future together. None of that is nearly as much fun to think about as the wedding, however, which is why "many people spend more time planning their wedding day than the remainder of their married life", says Dyan Cross, co-author (along with Dr. Marilyn Daryawish) of the book Marriage is a Business.

Continue reading Marriage as a "Venture Partnership"

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]]>DaryawishdivorceDyan-Crossmarital-communicationMarriage-is-a-BusinessrelationshipIlona PeltzSun, 13 Jul 2008 13:00:00 ESTSoap leaves provide delicate accenthttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/12/soap-leaves-provide-delicate-accent/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/12/soap-leaves-provide-delicate-accent/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/12/soap-leaves-provide-delicate-accent/#commentsFiled under: ,

dish of soap leavesSometimes you can find the most lovely decorating ideas by looking outside the traditional places. These lovely and delicate soap leaves are not manufactured as wedding accessories -- but wouldn't they be terrific? Yes, they're soap leaves, delicately scented with honey. You could treat them as soap, and send them home as wedding favors, though at almost $13.00 a box, you might find that a bit expensive.

You could, however, think outside that box. You could open it right up, in fact, and scatter these gold-toned leaves along the tablecloth. Treat them as lightly-scented, decorative confetti. If you sprinkle them with a light touch, particularly if you intersperse them with some other form of table confetti, they will add drama without breaking the bank. These would be particularly effective for a fall wedding.

If you're interested in more information on these Soap Leaves, contact Wrapables.

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]]>soap-leavestable-confettiIlona PeltzSat, 12 Jul 2008 12:00:00 ESTHow not to Bridezillahttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/09/how-not-to-bridezilla/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/09/how-not-to-bridezilla/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/09/how-not-to-bridezilla/#commentsFiled under: , ,

screaming womanIf you're convinced your wedding is Your Day, and everyone participating in it, from wedding party through parents to guests are there only as an audience ... well, you ARE a Bridezilla, and probably proud of it. You may skip this post.

If, however, you're generally a regular human being, but you're wondering if you're getting just a little ... intense ... about this whole venture, read on. It's easy, in the hectic throes of wedding planning, to get a little carried away. When you see your bridesmaids exchanging glances you're not supposed to see, you'll want to go through this handy checklist, and make the changes necessary.

Continue reading How not to Bridezilla

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]]>Bridezillastress-reductiontrouble-shootingwedding-stressIlona PeltzWed, 09 Jul 2008 10:00:00 ESTCalling cards for the in-demand bridehttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/03/calling-cards-for-the-in-demand-bride/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/03/calling-cards-for-the-in-demand-bride/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/03/calling-cards-for-the-in-demand-bride/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Once you begin planning a wedding, the people you work with -- from vendors to planners to distant relatives who want to stay "in the know" -- begins to quickly add up. You can certainly feel pulled in many directions from the moment you accept your guy's proposal. C & G Weddings -- who created the funky and fun Bride CEO bag -- have now come up with an easy (and original!) way to handle those people in your life (and in your wedding!) who are a little demanding of your time and information.

The "Busy Bride Calling Card" contains all the information that many vendors (and others) will request from you without you having to wear out your hands or exhaust yourself. C & G Weddings -- a wedding consulting firm -- know a bride's time is precious and her sanity is even more so. They created these cards for the busy bride to drop in the mail, clip to forms, hand out at expos and potential venues, so her time can be better spent on all those important wedding details that rack up over time.

The cards come in seven possible motifs and cost $39.95 for 100 cards. The "Busy Bride Calling Card" is only available at CandGWeddings.com.

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]]>business-cardscalling-cardscardsfeaturedorganizationJennifer CanzoneriThu, 03 Jul 2008 13:00:00 ESTThe couple that exercises together, stays togetherhttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/02/the-couple-that-exercises-together-stays-together/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/02/the-couple-that-exercises-together-stays-together/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/07/02/the-couple-that-exercises-together-stays-together/#commentsFiled under: ,

Exercising together, as a couple, has multiple payoffs for your relationship. First, it makes you both more accountable to the work out routine. If your mate is there counting on you and encouraging you, you're less likely to skip out. Second, it helps you balance your fitness training. Since most women prefer cardio exercise and most men prefer strength training, working out together helps you both get the balance you need for optimum health. Also, working out with a partner is healthier because you have someone to spot you or help you when needed. Finally, it helps bring you closer. Couples find that especially work outs like yoga or pilates help bring them eye-to-eye in a relaxing atmosphere - and this builds intimacy even outside the gym.

If you do decide to work on a mutual fitness program, keep compromise top-of-mind for success. Choose a time, place and activity that works for both of you, or take turns with your favorite activity. Don't turn work outs into a competition. It's about getting healthy and getting closer together, even if you can run a whole mile further. Finally, make togetherness the priority by blowing off the hard-sweat work out and taking a walk through the park or relaxing bike ride once in while. This will keep the fun factor high and boredom at bay.

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]]>fitnessworkoutCaroline HumphreysWed, 02 Jul 2008 11:00:00 ESTFather of the bride: More than just a wallethttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/28/father-of-the-bride-more-than-just-a-wallet/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/28/father-of-the-bride-more-than-just-a-wallet/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/28/father-of-the-bride-more-than-just-a-wallet/#commentsFiled under: ,

Let's face it: a lot of men are on the outside of the wedding planning. Even today, a wedding is the largely bride's show, with her bridesmaids and her mother as her supporting players and the groom a handsome accessory. A generation ago, when her father was getting married, this was likely even more the case. So what does dad remember of the planning? Probably not a whole lot.

Yet many brides (though certainly not all) will be expecting dad to ante up considerable chunks of money for her Big Day. So where are the books, magazines, and general all-round support for dad?



Continue reading Father of the bride: More than just a wallet

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]]>father-of-the-brideIlona PeltzSat, 28 Jun 2008 14:01:00 ESTStuff you need to knowhttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/25/stuff-you-need-to-know/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/25/stuff-you-need-to-know/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/25/stuff-you-need-to-know/#commentsFiled under: ,

A marriage can be based on different things. While respect, communication, and shared interests are fundamental to all relationships, the mix will depend on each couple and their stage of life. A young, active couple may spend a lot of time and money indulging in their shared passion for sailing, but when a job requires them to move, or their first child is born, the relationship may undergo some significant shifts.

Everyone, whether they know it or not, heads into a relationship with certain assumptions. Often, those assumptions are so fundamental to how you think that it doesn't even occur to you that there's another way of thinking about it. "OF COURSE we'll spend Sundays with my family" one person is thinking, completely unaware that their beloved is assuming that marriage means significantly more distance from parents.

Continue reading Stuff you need to know

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]]>marriage-preparationpre-marriage-counsellingIlona PeltzWed, 25 Jun 2008 20:03:00 ESTPersonalized coasters for your weddinghttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/24/personalized-coasters-for-your-wedding/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/24/personalized-coasters-for-your-wedding/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/24/personalized-coasters-for-your-wedding/#commentsFiled under: ,

For the maid of honor who wants to go the extra mile, it's always nice to add little personal touches to a wedding shower, like these personalized coasters from For Your Party. In addition to wedding showers, these coasters would be great for rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions.

You start with a blank slate on one of ten different coaster styles. Different shapes and materials are available. From there, you add the text and pictures that you want, in the colors and font of your choice from the wide selection on the website.

It takes just a few minutes to design these adorable coasters (the hardest part is narrowing down your selections!). When you're done, you've got a lovely and inexpensive bit of flair for your party.

Visit For Your Party to order.

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]]>bridal-showerscoastersdinnerspersonalized-coastersreceptionsrehearsalrehearsal-dinnerrehearsalsshowersMeg MassieTue, 24 Jun 2008 08:00:00 ESTKeeping secrets: Good or bad for your marriage?http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/22/keeping-secrets-good-or-bad-for-your-marriage/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/22/keeping-secrets-good-or-bad-for-your-marriage/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/22/keeping-secrets-good-or-bad-for-your-marriage/#commentsFiled under:

When you're deeply in love with the man/woman of your dreams, you'll often decide that total honesty is what's required for lifetime happiness. We found a list of secrets men keep from their wives, and another of secrets women keep from their husbands. Some of these are scarcely secrets at all -- is any woman truly surprised that her man notices other women? Some probably don't apply to you or your fiancé(e). But some of them might sound just exactly right!

There are secrets and secrets, of course. It's one thing to keep your negative feelings about his brother to yourself. It may be a different thing entirely to opt not to tell your partner that you got a substantial raise. Or maybe you think both of those are wrong -- or both of them just fine!

What do you think? Do you keep secrets from your partner? Should you? Is honesty always the best policy, or is there a time to keep your lip firmly zipped?

View Poll



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]]>communicationdishonestyfeaturedhonestymarital-secretsIlona PeltzSun, 22 Jun 2008 13:00:00 ESTWill your marriage last?http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/22/will-your-marriage-last/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/22/will-your-marriage-last/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/22/will-your-marriage-last/#commentsFiled under:

Dr. Gottman knows. Or he will, if you give him 15 minutes of your time. Sit in a room together, and have a discussion about a somewhat loaded issue. It doesn't have to be a huge issue, just one that you're not in 100% agreement about. Dr. Gottman and his team will observe your every blink, nod, and scowl, and on the basis of their 15 minutes of intense scrutiny and a mathematical formula developed over 14 years of study, they can predict -- with 94% accuracy! -- whether you'll stay together for the long haul. If they don't think you'll stay together, they can even give a pretty reliable guess on how long you'll last!

What indicates a couple who'll split, vs one that stays together? Happy couples nod when the other speaks, make eye contact, crack warm-hearted jokes (as opposed to sarcasm or taking digs at the other). Couples likely to split avoid eye contact, roll their eyes, sneer.

Love, support, and respect: it's what will see you through!

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]]>communicationcontemptdivorcehappy-marriagerespectIlona PeltzSun, 22 Jun 2008 12:01:00 ESTWith rings like these, who needs to get married?http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/21/with-rings-like-these-who-needs-to-get-married/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/21/with-rings-like-these-who-needs-to-get-married/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/21/with-rings-like-these-who-needs-to-get-married/#commentsFiled under: ,

We're seeing an ongoing trend, in Hollywood and elsewhere, of couples making a commitment without getting legally hitched. Some couples, like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, consider their children enough commitment, while other couples, like Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, simply have made the choice not to marry.

If you make the choice to commit without having a wedding or making it legal, you still might want a way to show your devotion. Perhaps you don't want a traditional wedding band, but what about something else? Refinery29 has a great article on rings that are a perfect symbol of commitment without being too bridal.

Whether you call it a commitment ring, a promise ring, or just a gift to show your devotion, a ring on your left ring finger holds a special meaning. We love the idea of using something untraditional to show your unique relationship -- what do you think?

Gallery: Funky Rings for an Untraditional Relationship

Annie Fensterstock RingsTanya Moss Flower Ring, $54Judith Ripka Stone Heart Ring, $450Lovebirds stackable rings, $34Teong Kay Flower Ring, $69

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]]>bandcommitmentjewelrypromise-ringringsymbolunmarriedweddingKristen SeymourSat, 21 Jun 2008 11:00:00 ESTFamily lei exchangehttp://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/21/family-lei-exchange/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/21/family-lei-exchange/http://www.aisledash.com/2008/06/21/family-lei-exchange/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Lots of weddings include a special part of the ceremony specifically designed to symbolize the joining of two families. Some couples use unity candles, others have a handfasting ceremony, and others might have a family lei exchange.

In the lei exchange, the bride and groom take turns adorning their new in-laws with leis, with the maid of honor and best man or other attendants holding the leis for the ceremony until it's time to use them. This is a great job for a child attendant. Instead of or in addition to flower girls and ring bearers, you can have a lei carrier.

For examples of ceremony scripts including a lei exchange, visit this site. For some of our favorite leis and where to buy them, read this post.

Gallery: Leis for your beach wedding

Kamali'i LeiCharlotte Orchid LeiGinger LeiTuberose & Orchid LeiFrosty Robyn Orchid Lei

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]]>beach-weddingsceremonyfamily-ceremoniesfamily-lei-exchangehawaiihawaiian-themehawaiian-weddingsleiswedding-leisweddingsMeg MassieSat, 21 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EST