AisleDash

All along you've assumed that after the big day your bride will become Mrs. Groom. You're sitting in the kitchen, chatting with her sister, and she very casually mentions that she will not be changing her name. Most women in the US do change their names, but a certain percentage (10 - 20, depending on who you read) do not. For some men, this is not a big deal: she's agreed to marry you, after all, live with you forever, put up with your goofy sense of humor, maybe even have your babies. That's plenty!

Others, the traditional sort, might find this a bit hard to take. They might see it as a personal rejection, and react accordingly. Of course, it's not a rejection. She's agreed to marry you, live with you forever... (you know the drill, we just said all that). But it can feel that way, anyway.

You might need to have a conversation. Not a conversation so that you can change her mind, a conversation so that you can understand why she's made this choice. Before the conversation, though, think for a bit -- really, really think -- about how it would feel to have to change your name to hers. Never mind that it's not "traditional", and thus "stupid". What would it feel like? And if even a teeny little part of you says, "I couldn't do that! It's my name!", you don't need to have the conversation with her. You already understand why.

The Anastasia by Maggie Sottero is quite the popular dress (click here and here and here to see real brides wearing it) and we're not surprised - it's the quintessential bridal look. The one piece slim a-line gown has a sweetheart neckline and a corset bodice. The gown is scattered with beading and Swarovski crystals atop three tiers of floaty organza. A view of the corset is after the jump.

Visit MaggieSoterro.com to locate a retailer near you.

Novelty cakes are nothing new but to find a baker who consistently does it really well isn't always easy. There are so many design elements in a novelty cake that it must be really neatly executed, otherwise it runs the risk of looking shoddy and amateurish. That's why we are so pleased to have found Dragons and Daffodils Cakes, a Welsh bakery that produces wonderful novelty cakes and figurines.

One of the quirkiest figurines they make are sheep. Yes, amazingly, sheep, which are apparently much-loved by Welsh brides and grooms living abroad and wanting a little touch of home at their wedding. The sheep can be used as cake toppers, or as pillars to support each cake tier. Whichever way, they are a lot of fun and quite adorable. Other figurines include Welsh dragons, mice and rabbits and enormously cute miniature bride and groom replicas.

Our favourite designs, however, are the amazing luggage and parcel cakes. Loads of fun, they must make an amazing focal point at any wedding. We like the clean, simple design of the cakes, which allows the figurines to shine and tell the story.

If you want to find out more about ordering one of these fabulous cakes, please read their order info page here.

Most earth-friendly guru's will agree that when it comes to green living one of the very best ways to do it is to recycle, recycle and recycle. You wouldn't think this could be applicable to a wedding dress, no matter how special an old gown might be. All the best will in the world might not be able to do something with your mother's 1960's wedding dress, or even the Flapper gown your great-grandmother wore.

Time can ravage fabrics and render them absolutely useless. But, rather than sighing regretfully and then putting that special family dress aside, take it to someone who specialises in restoring old gowns. In England, that someone is Heirloom Couture.

Even if the dress seems to be beyond repair, Heirloom Couture will take key components and details from the gown you bring them and make something new from them. It doesn't, of course, have to be a family heirloom. Any vintage dress you take to them can have new life breathed into it.

In this age of cheap mass production, it's wonderful to find ways to hold onto, and use, precious things from our past.

If you wear one of these chokers to work everyday, chances are you're pretty proficient at tying them already. But based on the number of clip-ons I see in the stores (DON'T do this), I'm willing to bet there are some of you out there who could use some pointers. Who better to help us here than tieguide.com, with their detailed instructions and photos, you're sure to look like a pro in no time.

Here are a few more pointers: start with your shirt buttoned up all the way and the collar up. Once you're done tying, put the collar down over the tie. The knot should sit between the two collar points. When properly tied, the tie should end around the middle of your belt buckle (if it's too short or too long, start over). Finally, achieve the perfect dimple. As you tighten the tie, put one finger into the hangy-down part of the tie right in the middle under the knot. Lightly squeeze each side of the tie as you tighten for a perfectly centered – and oh so adorable – dimple.

If you're going to do the traditional mother-son dance, you'll need to be considering just your musical options, and as you do you'll want to take mom into account. No fair forcing her to dance to music that you forced on her as a teen (which we're pretty sure you've outgrown by now anyway, right?). Nor should you be trying to get her to groove to stuff you love which leaves her cold.

Though there's room for musical compromise, the odds are good that you'll be dancing to something that sits firmly on the "Oldies" section of the shelf. And that's all right. Cool and cutting-edge though you may be, if there's a time to trip the very traditional fantastic, the mother-son dance is it. Besides, that oldies stuff is generally pretty easy to dance to, which could save you both a heap of embarrassment. We doubt you and mom have spent many hours dancing together, at least not since she gave you a few pointers the night before your Senior Prom.

Okay, guys, it's your turn. Will you be having a mother-son dance? And if so, what music have you chosen, or are you considering?

When we think of Renaissance hair, we tend to picture coiled or twisted hair, all laced with ribbons or bedecked with pearls or encircled with flowers. In fact, for most of the Renaissance a woman's hair would have been sedately hidden by a hood or a bonnet. You can find pictures of the typical headgear here, and we've even found a McCalls pattern for making your own!

In the late Renaissance, hair became visible, and then they really went to town with the braiding, ribbons, flowers, and jewellry! One common style that doesn't require three hands and 16 fingers is simply to twist lengths of hair around each other, giving an effect similar to French braiding, only simpler. You can find full instructions here.

Once you begin planning a wedding, the people you work with -- from vendors to planners to distant relatives who want to stay "in the know" -- begins to quickly add up. You can certainly feel pulled in many directions from the moment you accept your guy's proposal. C & G Weddings -- who created the funky and fun Bride CEO bag -- have now come up with an easy (and original!) way to handle those people in your life (and in your wedding!) who are a little demanding of your time and information.

The "Busy Bride Calling Card" contains all the information that many vendors (and others) will request from you without you having to wear out your hands or exhaust yourself. C & G Weddings -- a wedding consulting firm -- know a bride's time is precious and her sanity is even more so. They created these cards for the busy bride to drop in the mail, clip to forms, hand out at expos and potential venues, so her time can be better spent on all those important wedding details that rack up over time.

The cards come in seven possible motifs and cost $39.95 for 100 cards. The "Busy Bride Calling Card" is only available at CandGWeddings.com.

Dear AisleDash,

I've picked out a song that I really want to use in my wedding when I walk down the aisle. It's a popular song with lyrics, so I know that's not really traditional, but it would mean a lot to me to use this song. The problem is that the song is almost four minutes long, and no matter how slowly I walk, I can't make my walk last more than a minute or so. Should we just start the song, walk really slowly, and then stand up at the front with my fiance until the song is over? How do I work around this problem?

~L.B.

Dear L.B.,

Lots of people use popular music these days in their weddings. If you play this song before the wedding begins, or as your recessional instead of your processional, you can play the whole song with no problem. If it is important to you to use as your processional specifically, then I'd suggest one of two simple solutions:

You could start the song as your attendants start walking down the aisle. Between their walk time and yours, you can use most of the song so that people aren't just standing around waiting for it to finish up after everyone makes it to the front.

Alternatively, you could simply have your sound person fade the song out when you make it to the front. Pick the one-minute part of the song you like best and instruct your sound tech to play that part of it. Of course you can play the whole thing and stand at the front waiting for it to finish up, but I think that would be sort of awkward.

Do you have a question for Ask AisleDash? Use the Contact AisleDash link at the top of the page, or leave it in the comments section. And be sure to look for our answers every Thursday.

Nothing completes your look like the perfect shoe, and here's where the Renaissance bride can find authentic-looking footwear to complete her costume. If moccasin styles are your thing, check out these hand-crafted, leather shoes. The sole is made of Neoprene for long wear. Choose from low and high-top moccasin (about $72-90), open-toe sandal (around $50), or tall boot styles (about $250) in a variety of colors. You control the fit by loosening or tightening the laces.

If you're looking for a more simple option, try these ankle latchet shoes ($125). Browse the website for several styles of Renaissance style shoes and take note of the period dates for each style, so you can be sure you've got the perfect match for your dress. You're sure to dance the Renaissance night away in these great shoes.

What could be easier than letting your bridesmaids choose their own little black dress? They get to find whatever pretty dress they like without having to pay for alterations and you don't have to worry about color variations - black is black (for the most part.)

Still, if any of your bridesmaids are having trouble finding a dress that flatters their figure show them this very chic and very wearable offering from Lane Bryant. The draped neckline is soft and interesting, and the dress is inexpensive and easy to care for. We're sure they'll love it!

Available at Lane Bryant for $59.50 in sizes 14-28

Handfasting may or may not be a Renaissance ceremony, depending on who you read. It certainly started well before the Renaissance, but it was probably still being practiced in some areas during that time. If you're not too much of an historical purist, you might like to include this element in your wedding.

If you saw the movie Braveheart, you would have seen a handfasting. Some believe that handfasting created a year-and-a-day temporary marriage, after which the couple couple could decide whether to marry for life, or whether to go their separate ways. Others believe it to be akin to an engagement, while still others believe it was part of all wedding ceremonies.

Whatever its origins, it's hard to miss the symbolism of being tied together at the wrist. In some ceremonies the couple, once tied, share a drink of wine together, and if that is your choice, you'll enjoy the his-and-her chalices available at Mayhem Ltd. If you think that would be too awkward, many couple opt to help each other take a sip in turn, from the same glass. More details on modern handfasting ceremonies can be found here.

To create the illusion of a plump and sexy mouth simply dab the center of your bottom lip with gold or silver lip gloss. You can do this over any lipstick (the silver gloss works best over cooler reds) but if what you want is to create the illusion of fullness, be sure to just use a dab on the bottom lip.

This trick works best right before walking down the aisle or taking photographs, because the effect is short-lived: Once you blot or wipe your lips the illusion will be gone (but the gloss will still add a pretty dimension to your lipcolor.)

Pictured: 24K Sexy Gold lip gloss by Benefit, available here.

When you get invited to a Renaissance theme wedding, you are expected to get into the theme. The bride and groom don't really expect you to pull a 16th-century ball gown out of the back of your closet, but they do hope you'll dress the part.

Costume stores are a great place to look for clothes for a Renaissance wedding. You're probably not going to ever have an occasion to wear such an outfit again, so look for costume rentals in the yellow pages. Ebay is another great place to look for bargains on Renaissance inspired clothing.
Ask the bride and groom about the dress code. For theme weddings, dressing up is usually more important than dressing formally, so if you like the more casual clothes of the period better than the super-fancy, super-layered stuff, go with what you like!

Do you love retro? So do we! A retro wedding is unique and lots of fun - let us help you pull it off!