AisleDash

Dear AisleDash,

I've picked out a song that I really want to use in my wedding when I walk down the aisle. It's a popular song with lyrics, so I know that's not really traditional, but it would mean a lot to me to use this song. The problem is that the song is almost four minutes long, and no matter how slowly I walk, I can't make my walk last more than a minute or so. Should we just start the song, walk really slowly, and then stand up at the front with my fiance until the song is over? How do I work around this problem?

~L.B.

Dear L.B.,

Lots of people use popular music these days in their weddings. If you play this song before the wedding begins, or as your recessional instead of your processional, you can play the whole song with no problem. If it is important to you to use as your processional specifically, then I'd suggest one of two simple solutions:

You could start the song as your attendants start walking down the aisle. Between their walk time and yours, you can use most of the song so that people aren't just standing around waiting for it to finish up after everyone makes it to the front.

Alternatively, you could simply have your sound person fade the song out when you make it to the front. Pick the one-minute part of the song you like best and instruct your sound tech to play that part of it. Of course you can play the whole thing and stand at the front waiting for it to finish up, but I think that would be sort of awkward.

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Wednesday Wedding Wrap-up is a weekly roundup of highlights from the past week, covering wedding blogs and websites, reality TV, even particularly hot scoop right here at AisleDash. Think we missed something? Leave your favorite highlight in the comments!

Manolo for the Brides evaluates the pros and cons of a destination wedding. What, you thought getting married in an exotic location was without its flaws?

Bridalwave tosses around some alternative first dance songs, none of which made the cut for the couple in question, but it might give you some ideas.

Hostess with the Mostess has a fabulous idea for centerpieces -- blumeboxes with ribbons. You can personalize them in lots of different ways to ensure they're perfect for your wedding (and they're affordable and reusable, so give them to guests or take them home at the end!).

Justin Timberlake offered to not only sing a song at Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DiRossi's wedding -- he offered to write them a song.

He was on Ellen's talk show as the first guest to appear after she made the announcement that she and Portia planned to marry, and immediately congratulated the happy couple. Ellen mentioned a double wedding, suggesting Justin propose to his girlfriend, Jessica Biel, and while he laughed off that suggestion, he had a better one.

He offered to sing at their wedding, and told them, "You should have an original wedding song. I think it's only fitting." He asked Ellen to write down what she wanted to say to Portia, and told Portia to write down what she wanted to say to Ellen, and he promised to put it to music for their wedding. We think it's awesome, and hope Ellen will share the song after the wedding (although, we understand if they keep it private).

We're sure Fergie and Josh Duhamel are excited about their wedding (even though they haven't set a date yet -- hello! We're waiting!), but there's one guy who seems like he might be even more jazzed about their upcoming nuptials -- Fergie's Black Eyed Peas bandmate will.i.am.

He considers Fergie a little sister, so while he's protective of her, he couldn't be more pleased with her choice. Will.i.am calls her Transformers hottie hubby-to-be "super-duper cool -- one of the nicest guys I've ever met." Obviously they're a perfect match, because he also said Fergie is "the coolest wife you could have." It's a match made in heaven!

And though he doesn't know the details of the wedding yet, he guarantees he'll be there, and he already has a gift for the Fergie-Ferg and her man -- "some new beats, so she can sing over them!" We can think of a few other gifts we might rather have, but hey, to each bride her own, right?

We're talking about Roaring 20's-themed weddings this week, and we definitely can't cover this topic without mentioning the music of the era. There aren't too many bands left over from that period today, but if you want live 20's-era music at your reception, you'll be glad to know that Vaudevillian-style rock is enjoying a revival, and The Wiyos are leading the way.

From Brooklyn, New York, The Wiyos bill themselves as a Vaudevillian ragtime blues, hillbilly swing and old time country music act. Their shows are not just a musical act, but a complete performance -- both the band and their audiences have a blast. They play old standards as well as original new music, and they do weddings! They've got an arsenal of songs about being in love and gettin' it on -- early 20th century style -- that will fit perfectly with the mood of your Roaring 20's wedding.

To sample the Wiyos' performances, check out some YouTube videos posted here, or better yet, catch a live show. For booking information, contact Charisma Artist Agency. Who doesn't want a washboard band at their wedding?

Even though they've tried to keep it low-key, we had no doubt that Beyonce and Jay-Z were crazy in love. It turns out that the bootylicious chanteuse and rap superstar are ready to show the world just how in love they are -- they've taken out a marriage license in New York!

The talented duo has 60 days to make things legal, and they can do so anywhere in the state of New York. According to the Daily News, Jay-Z was at Miami's Delano hotel (while Beyonce was out of town) to meet with her sister, Solange, about asking for her dad's blessing.



Beyonce and Jay-Z have shared about five years of low-key love, and they've been driving us crazy with the "Are they married?" "Are they engaged?" rumors. We just can't wait to see if they keep it down to earth or go all out for the wedding (and if Beyonce's mom will try to design the wedding gown and bridesmaids' dresses).

As you may have already read, Colin Montgomerie is getting married this month in a lavish ceremony on the banks of Loch Lomond. Several famous faces will be in attendance, such as Hugh Grant and Prince Andrew.

Additionally, Robbie Williams will be there to sing. He'll make a his live comeback at the wedding, performing a special gig for his friend Monty. The two have been pals since they met in a celebrity golf tournament in 2005.

Now, we just have to ask -- is the face above the face of a man you would want to give the microphone to at your wedding? In front of Prince Andrew and 400 guests? We're just wondering ...

You want your reception to be filled with the perfect music. From the first dance to your favorite classic tunes, you want your guests to be unable to resist the lure of the dance floor. One way to ensure that every guest is cutting loose is to provide the perfect wedding playlist. This means, of course, that you'll have to spend the time it takes surfing through your musical library. But here's an idea to shave some time off this time-consuming task: ask the father of the bride and the mother of the groom to select the music for their respective first dances (father-daughter and mother-son). This will allow you to immediately draw two lines through songs you have to pick out. If you're feeling even riskier, give your respective parents your DJ or band's e-mail address and let the song selection be a surprise until the moment the music cues up at your reception. This will afford you the energy to focus on how many times you should have Journey played and it will also provide a memorable and sweet moment between you and yours.

Do you have a song that's just perfect for your wedding? You both love it, it's perfect for your relationship, and you want to include it in your big day -- but you can't dance to it. It's not slow enough for your first dance and it doesn't have enough of a beat to play during the dancing part of your reception... so what do you do? Here are some ideas:

• Play the song as you walk down the aisle - You don't have to stick to the traditional wedding march, you know.
  
• Have a friend or friends perform the song during your ceremony - If you have friends who are talented musicians, you can honor them by including them in your wedding this way.
  
• Play a piece of the song during your first kiss - Granted, this only takes a minute, but you can cue up a CD to a part of the song that you'd like to play for this special moment.
  
• Play the song as people are being seated for the ceremony - You won't be there to hear it, but you already know the song anyway. This is about sharing it with your guests.
  
• Use it as your recessional - Play the song as you leave the altar with your new spouse.
  
• Play the song as you are cutting your cake - Read about this in Ilona's recent post.
  

As you can see, you can put almost any part of your wedding to music, and it doesn't have to be dancing music. If there's a song that's special to you, you can find a way to fit it in.

While decorations and food are important, music is the heart of your reception. Hiring a good DJ is key - he or she will set the tone for the party so you want to be sure you hire someone who understands exactly what you want. Our own Kristen (who has real-life DJ experience) has great advice on what you should discuss with your DJ and suggestions on what to play when.

Before meeting DJs, you should sit down and envision what kind of a reception you want. Do you want a classy old-school affair? A wild and crazy club-like dance floor? Do you want line dances or are they explicitly banned?

I suggest you come to your DJ interviews with a prepared checklist in hand - it will ensure that you go over exactly what you want and it is a great document to leave with the DJ you ultimately hire. At most weddings the DJ also serves as an MC, so include how you want your reception to flow (the name of anyone giving a toast, the order of events, music volume, etc). This way you can avoid unpleasant surprises and in addition, the checklist will become a great reminder of the music played at your wedding.

(However, remember that you are hiring a professional and once you discuss what you want and are comfortable with your DJ you have to let go and trust their judgment. It's better to dance at your reception without a care in the world!)

WEDDING MUSIC CHECKLIST
Bride & Groom:
Wedding date and time:
Contact Information:
Types of Cocktail Music:
Formal Intro?
1st Dance: Song:
2nd Dance: Song:
Best Man/others Toast:
Invitation to start dining/Blessing of the Meal by:
Types of Dinner Music:
Types of Dance Music:
Cake Cutting:
Bouquet Tossing/Garter:
More Dance Music:
Last Dance:
Must-Play List:
DO NOT PLAY:
Music on favor CD:
Examples of songs I like

Check the next page for a sample completed checklist ...

Yes, I'm a little biased about this since, you know, I was a DJ, but I really feel strongly about professional music at a wedding. This post over at Offbeat Bride got me all riled up (Ariel, I usually agree with you, but not this time). The invitation in question had two spots for the guests to include their two song requests for the wedding. The bride and groom planned to hook up their laptop and just have these requested songs, along with some of their own favorites, play throughout the reception.

Allow me to explain why, in most situations, this is a very bad idea.

• If music is playing with nobody controlling it, you could very well miss your first dance song or another song you selected for a specific event. Sure, you can go back and replay it, but it takes away from the flow of the evening.
  
• Again, with nobody in charge of what song plays when, the dance floor is going to empty out. I know, it seems easy -- play good songs and folks will dance. But sometimes a certain song gets a group out on the dance floor who will stay if that same type of music continues to play, but change it up, and POOF! They're back in their seats and the floor is empty.
  

Wedding audiences are well trained. When we hear the organist strike up the first note of the wedding march, we all stand, grab our tissues, and watch eagerly as the bride takes her first steps toward her husband-to-be. It's one of the most memorable and most fantasized-about moments of any wedding.

Richard Wagner's "Bridal Chorus," also known as "Here Comes The Bride," has been the traditional processional in western weddings for over a century -- and while this is one of the most common wedding traditions, there are plenty of alternatives for those who want something different.

You can choose another classical piece, or you can break from tradition entirely and select music from popular culture, a song that has special meaning to you as a couple, or something you compose yourself.

Music plays a big part in your reception, and aside from determining the kind of music you'd like your guests to dance to, you'll need to select music for several different events. You've probably already thought about your first dance song, and maybe the father/daughter dance, but there are other opportunities to incorporate your favorite songs into your reception.

To give you a start, I'll list a number of different chances to play songs and some of my personal favorites, but I urge you to be creative. I personally don't go for the tear-jerkers, but everyone has their own preferences, and I'd love to hear your ideas! And don't forget, if you have a favorite song, you can find a way to work it in for some special part of your wedding -- just think outside the box.

• First dance
• The Way You Look Tonight, Frank Sinatra
• Unforgettable, Nat King Cole
• At Last, Etta James
• In Your Eyes, Peter Gabriel
  
• Father/daughter or mother/son dance
• Stand By Me, Ben E. King
• Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder
• What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong
  
• Cake cutting
• When I'm 64, The Beatles
• Sugar, Sugar, The Archies
• I Got You, Babe, Sonny and Cher
  

I don't know why this is, but most men I know tend to avoid dancing like the plague. Since music is usually a big part of wedding entertainment, I bet that knowing that your date (or new bride!) expects you to dance is a cause of anxiety for you.

Am I right?

There's no need to spend the entire night hiding behind a potted palm - in most cases your fears are unfounded. Most women simply don't expect you to suddenly bust out with Saturday Night Fever moves (actually, they might prefer it if you didn't), they just want to have some fun. And that's where you come in - all you have to do is have fun right along with her. Impressive moves are not required; just move with the music and do less, rather than more.

If you need inspiration, check out the hilarious "How to dance properly" tutorial at ZeFrank.com or try these flippin' sweet moves. If Napoleon Dynamite can do it, surely you can too!

As a self-proclaimed music geek and connoisseur, I have to admit that there's one type of music I almost never like. I'm not talking about country or rap or punk, though -- I'm talking about love songs. There's very little original content in the world of love songs, and the stuff that is original is usually so personal that it's difficult to relate to.

I'm not saying love songs can't be pretty or fun to sing along or dance to -- you can find a list of popular first dance songs here -- but for those who want to think outside the box and dance to a love song that doesn't even have the word "love" in it, I'd like to share my favorite with you: "Outloud" by Dispatch. You can listen to the song for free on the band's MySpace page, or read the lyrics here.

I just love how this whole song says "I love you" without actually ever saying "I love you." The words are sweet, the music is beautiful, and the band has really nailed it with this truly creative love song. If you're still trying to find that perfect first dance song, give this one a listen. If you love it as much as I do, you won't have to look any further.