AisleDash

Your eyes keep shifting between your budget spreadsheet and your potential guest list. You love your friends and family -- all 250 of them -- but at 35 bucks a head for dinner, you can't afford to invite them all. You could save thousands of dollars by cutting your guest list in half, but how do you decide who makes and who misses the cut? This part of wedding planning is no fun.

So here's an idea: instead of an expensive, fancy feast that blows your whole wedding budget, ask your guests to bring a dish to share instead of a gift. Provide guests who travel or guests who simply don't cook with a list of pre-made items that can be bought at your local grocery store, and appoint someone to field all the phone calls about what to bring. Sure there will be some repeats, but with several dozen guests, you'll surely get a nice variety for your buffet.

Make sure your invitations are clear about this. "In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom request that you bring your favorite dish to serve at our reception buffet. Call Mandy, the Maid of Honor, at 555-5555 with questions." Then you can take the money you saved on food and buy your own wedding gifts, so you get exactly what you need and want. Encourage guests to include the recipe with the dish they bring, so that you can create a wedding cookbook. You can even post the recipes online to share with all the guests.

We confess to being just a little dubious about this. We can see the temptation, however. Receptions eat up (no pun intended) a huge percentage of your wedding costs. If you're working with a very tight budget, those costs may well be something you'd like to reduce. Is it realistic to self-cater?

It would depend a lot on the size and formality of the wedding, of course. Catering your own formal sit-down four-course banquet for 300 guests? We can't imagine how you'd manage that. A simple cold buffet for 30? That could be do-able.

The trick is liable to be in spreading out the work. Most people have family or friends who love to cook. Maybe you could organize a reception pot-luck for your casual wedding. In that case, you're likely not going to be doing much of the food preparation yourselves, but instead be organizing the people who will be bringing the food. What do you think? Could the couple organize their own catering, or is this one wedding task that really should be left to the professionals?